The Gay Is On (Johnlock)

Chapter One

John awoke to the sound of Sherlock's violin.

He sat up, groggy, and checked his bedside clock. 2 a.m. What the hell was Sherlock doing playing his violin at 2 in the morning?!

John then proceeded to listen to the song Sherlock was playing, and found it to be the most melancholy thing that he'd ever heard. He was fairly certain that Sherlock had written the song as well, because it had a beautiful and unique melody, albeit it being almost unbearably heartbreaking. John put on his dressing gown and quietly went downstairs.

John found Sherlock standing by the window, crying. His violin was tucked under his chin as usual, his tears shining off the polished wood.

"S-Sherlock!" John whispered urgently as he made his way over to the crying detective.

Sherlock whirled around, eyes puffy from crying. He gave John a look of surprise mixed with something else he couldn't quite place.

"What are you doing down here?" Sherlock asked, slightly panicking. He quickly wiped his tears and tried to put on a composed expression, but John could see right through it. John made his way over to Sherlock, looking him straight in his beautiful blue-green eyes. Sherlock never cries. EVER.

"Sherlock, what's the matter? And don't you dare say nothing, because we both know that isn't true." Sherlock looked down at John and saw his stormy blue eyes filled with emotion. Was that...concern? Or was it anger?

Sherlock sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. John followed suit, hesitating momentarily, but then putting his hand on Sherlock's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. His voice sounded softer when he said, "Sherlock. Please. Tell me."

For the first time ever, Sherlock looked...human. No longer did he look as brilliant and as composed as he always was. He looked over at John, his best friend, sitting next to him, and then looked down at his feet.

"I..I had a nightmare. I've been having it for years...but tonight, it was--it was so much worse," Sherlock started, struggling over the words.

John resisted the urge to hold Sherlock and tell him everything was going to be alright, to tell him to stop crying and wipe the tears from his face. He almost wanted Sherlock's usual arrogant disposition to replace this broken-down shell of a man. However, the fact that Sherlock was showing human emotion made John want to break down and cry himself. Instead he said, his voice shaking, "What happened?".

Sherlock turned and looked at John. His John. Could he really open up enough to share his darkest secret with him? Sherlock was about to protest, when suddenly a strange feeling came over him and he grabbed John and hugged him tightly. John's muscles tensed up in surprise, but then he quickly relaxed and hugged Sherlock back. It felt so good, hugging John. It made him feel like he was the strongest person in the world. After a full minute, Sherlock pulled away and looked John in the eyes.

Sherlock's voice cracked as he told John of the nightmare that had haunted him ever since he faked his death over two years ago.

"It..it started with the fall. I fell, and I actually hit the pavement...a-and I died for real. I'm used to that p-part. But then, something new happened. After I was dead," he started to cry again, but then regained his composure. "After I was dead, I heard someone hit the pavement next to me. A-and it was you."

John stared at his detective. Sherlock was crying because John had died in his nightmare? He felt such an overwhelming...feeling towards Sherlock. Something he couldn't describe.

John, without a second thought, grabbed one of Sherlock's hands in one of his. "Sherlock," he began gently, "It was only a nightmare. Look at me. I'm here see? I've always been here and I always will be here. I promise."

At this Sherlock's eyes filled up with tears again. He grabbed John's other hand, and looked down. "I'm so sorry, John."

"It's okay, Sherlock, everyone has nightmares."

"No, not about that. About...about the fall. I never properly apologised. I know how much it hurt you, I can see it in your eyes. I never thought I could mean this much to anyone, especially not to you, John. But I promise that I will be your best friend and be with you forever. Until the very end." Sherlock swallowed and looked up.

It was John's turn to cry now. Sherlock falling had haunted his own dreams ever since it had happened, and he couldn't believe Sherlock had noticed the sadness in his eyes. John had always had that one doubt in the back of his mind, the bitter thought that Sherlock would never realize how much he actually meant to John. That he would do this type of thing again. That was John's biggest fear, and Sherlock had provided him with the biggest comfort that he had ever had. At that moment, there was no more denying it: John was hopelessly in love with his best friend. The thought stayed in John's mind until he finally accepted it.

Upon seeing his best friend break down, Sherlock hugged John again. This time, he was the comforter. "It's alright, John. It will never happen again. I promise you. Please stop crying, you're breaking my heart."

This last comment made John nearly overwhelmed with his love for this amazing man, but John did as Sherlock asked. Wiping his tears, he looked up at Sherlock, "I'm sorry, I just...I couldn't help it. I just never thought...I never thought that I would actually mean something to you."

"Oh, John, if only you knew," Sherlock said, reluctantly breaking away from the hug. Sherlock had started to feel almost queasy. He had realized that he had completely let his guard down and that the love he had had for John for over two years had started to show. He couldn't let this happen again.

With one last hug, Sherlock and John said their "good night"s and headed up to their beds, where they were both overflowing with emotions for each other and cried themselves to sleep.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! My name is Morgan, and I hoped you enjoyed the first chapter of my story! There will be many more to come, and very soon, as long as you guys like it! Please comment if you liked or disliked it and give me suggestions for my future chapters. If you do, I'll give you a huge virtual hug. ^•^ Anyway, thanks so much for reading this, I love you all!

xoxo,
Morgan )