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Preface

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So we've decided to leave. All of us, tonight. We'll go as far as the train will take us. John says we have enough money left to buy a place out there, start fresh. And I want to believe him, believe we can put it all behind us. But I'm not so sure. The things we've seen in that dark world, and the things we did there . . .

I would follow John anywhere, and I know that now. And I'll follow him again tonight. I know that too. But the world down below has changed him. Sometimes when I look in his eyes now, when he kisses me, it's like he's not there. He's thinking, and he's planning. He's dark and then he's light. And my deepest fear, if I'm being honest, is that one day he'll just disappear. One day he'll go down and he won't come back. Because I think I know now, I know the truth. Whatever world we found down there, whatever power we discovered, he loves it more than he loves me. More than he loves any of us. He is our leader and our friend, and my only love. And when he goes—because he will go—I know that I will die.

—S

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