Imposter Syndrome

The Ivy Tower

"Does anyone have any questions?" Helena opened up the floor to discussion. Surprising even herself, Sofie raised her hand, twenty-nine or so pairs of eyes glancing in her general direction as she fought the urge to blush.

"How's...how's Karlo?" she muttered, suddenly self-conscious. She spotted the faintest hint of hesitation in Helena's demeanor, an altogether unusual pairing.

"Meet me after dinner," Helena finally responded. And so the meeting was adjourned.

The meal itself consisted of fresh rotisserie chicken, plus baked vegetable medley marinated in olive oil with rosemary, basil, and oregano. As inviting as the aroma was, Sofie herself picked at the food, trying to figure out how to best plan for this impromptu Helena meeting. If one could call it that. Dessert soon followed, frozen grapes and chocolate protein ice cream, topped with coconut shavings. Sparkling berry-flavored water was on tap, too.

As soon as dishes were removed and women began dispersing, Sofie dashed to Helena's chamber.

Fifteen minutes later, she found herself in deep conversation with the older statuesque blond. "Is Karlo better?"

"Better," Helena sighed, glancing at the eclectic eye-print painting above her own bed, "is a very relative term."

"How?" Sofie frowned. Is he healed or not? Does he remember?

"Yes...and no. He's no longer calling for Freya, but his memory acuity is questionable. We cannot let him re-enter society quite yet—"

"What about Avventura?" He loved that job—

"His health matters more, Sofie. Luckily, he was approved for an extended sabbatical before his longstanding disappearance, so no harm done—"

"And that's it?" I—I damaged him! It's—my—fault—tears began to well up as Sofie swiped them away, staring at the ceiling for a singular, tense moment.

"Sofie, it was never your fault. And that's all we can do—ensure he is safe and well-cared for, without further jeopardizing his safety—we're moving him soon—"

"Where?"

"Someplace safe."

"Huh. Ok..." A safe house within Constanta Castle? Anything's possible. A thought occurred to her. "Since he's being moved soon, can I visit?"

"Oh Sofie," Helena regarded the raven-haired lady sympathetically. "I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"Please? Just this once?" To say goodbye? Or...closure?

"Alright. Just this once."

When? Sofie's brain became jumbled with the many things she wanted to tell him. Karlo. The adventures she'd had, the people she'd met along the way...but of course, she caught herself mid-thought. Decorum. And everything on a need-to-know basis. She knew how this worked.

"Tomorrow morning, side tower, the ivy-bound one. Can't miss it—"

"I'll be there."

The next day, Sofie woke early, following Helena's directions from earlier. Down one hallway to the other, up flights of stairs, side tower, ivy—she knocked, pushing the door open after discovering it was unlocked.

He wasn't alone. Helena was already there. "Thank you very much for your help. I'm so appreciative," Sofie heard him say.

"Well, it's one of the best rehab clinics in the world. It's the least we could do—"

Sofie stared. What in the—? Her eyes fell upon Karlo's clean denim jeans, his pale blue shirt that brought out his eyes. "Karlo?" she whispered uncertainly, stepping closer. Do you know where you are?

He doesn't—Helena shot her a look. Don't scare him. "I'll give you two a few minutes, then we'll gather your things—"Don't make me regret this, her eyes seemed to say, before sweeping off, closing the door behind her.

"H-How are you, Karlo?" She studied him carefully for some sign of recognition—any.

But there was none. Just a friendly smile, as if greeting a friendly face that appeared particularly attractive. "Fine, thanks to you and Helena here. Couldn't have healed up without you both."

She decided to press on. "Can you tell me what you remember?"

He paused, then shook his head. "I wish I could—I just—remember leaving Avventura—my workplace—then everything has this—this cloud. Not darkness, more—fog. And I can't seem to break through—then I ended up," he gestured outwardly, "here."

"Helena's moving you today," Sofie continued. "Do you know where?"

"Someplace with a certain spiritual connection, so she said. Someplace where I can orient myself. Then return to normal life. Then I'll figure out things from there." Karlo shrugged. "Sorry, wish I could give a better answer—"

"No, that's ok." Even though it wasn't, she wanted him to be safe. And happy. Spotting his wallet on the nightstand, she asked, "may I?" He nodded, curious. Reaching, Sofie checked to see whether a certain card was present. To her relief, it was. She pulled a pen out from her purse, writing down a certain Florentine office, then placed it pack where it was originally found; she handed his wallet back to him, then he placed the item within his back pocket. She hoped the words, the information, would make sense...a contingency of sorts...

Just in case you remember.

Sofie would have said more, could have said more, were it not for Helena bursting in the next second, motioning for her to return to her Florentine office. "It's time for Karlo to continue the next phase of his regimen—"

And with that, Helena and Karlo vanished into thin air.

Where had they gone?

It was times like these, she felt, despite her super-empath abilities, completely, utterly powerless. She could have gone back to Italy, but something held her back, and it wasn't until Helena reappeared ten minutes later that she realized why. "Will he be ok?"

Helena nodded. "He needs the respite."

"What about funds? Survival?"

"He's been given enough to live on for the moment." The blond studied the raven-haired lady before her. "Karlo will be fine."

An hour later, marble flooring giving way to rose-rust walls and vintage hardwood, she was back at the Florentine office, wondering if it wouldn't have been better to argue her way into following Karlo to wherever it was he went, amnesia be damned.

Did I make a mistake?