Imposter Syndrome

Romance and Rumi

She tapped her newly-manicured nails on the pristine table before her, examining with some interest the pale pink-painted British-style telephone booth, and the myriad curlicued glass sconces above the open stairwell. Not to mention—

Sofie glanced to her right, spotting two giant cherry tree boughs, their branches laden in fluffy, delicate blossoms. Were they real? She sniffed the air, detecting the faintest hint of floral. Probably real.

But—she checked her phone again—where was he?

It wasn't like Karlo to run late. Especially for an event such as this. A rehearsal luncheon. Granted, Helena had leadership engagements and was forced to bow out, and Carolina was home with Beatriz, who decided today was the best day to run a low-grade (and assuredly non-contagious) fever. Natalia had taken off just seconds ago due to a pressing work project.

So it was, once again, a case of going solo.

Or was it?

She heard a flurry of steps, followed by a glimpse of slate grey jacket. "Karlo?" she exclaimed as he spotted her, then seated himself, panting somewhat.

"Sorry I'm late—"

"No worries—" She surveyed him closely. "How'd the...uh...attempted reconciliation go?" Sofie had encouraged Karlo to make amends with his parents after all that had occurred with his first wife and little Freya.

"Not well."

"Oh," she made as though to touch his shoulder, but he shoved himself away. "That bad?" she murmured as he nodded, staring upward, blinking fast before facing her once more.

"I asked my mom if she wanted to dance the mother-son reception dance with me. And if my dad wanted to walk you down the aisle. To make amends."

"And...?"

"She—he—" he swallowed hard. "They both..." he examined his reflection in a piece of cutlery before meeting her eyes, "said no. Dances aren't her thing. But she didn't even want to do this for me—for us. And he—it was—well—"

"It's ok—" she began, but Karlo cut her off.

"It's not ok. I'm not ok with that. With them."

She inhaled sharply. What did that mean? "What about..." she hesitated, "...us?"

Karlo reached out to clasp her now-shaking hand, drawing invisible infinity symbols, soothingly so. "I'm more than ok with us. But I feel bad..."

"Why?"

"Because..." he searched for the words, "you're not having the full bridal experience. No in-laws. No mother-in-law to give you wise words of wisdom or dance the ceremonial dance. No father-in-law to walk you down the aisle. Sofie, I have no family to offer you—"

To his surprise, she laughed. "Karlo, I'm marrying you for you, not the people related to you."

"But won't you get lonely?"

"Me, lonely? I've spent my life, not to mention my career—all alone. Y'know, someone wise once told me being alone and being lonely are two separate things. Being alone is peaceful, being lonely is pain. And better alone than otherwise unhappy, right? If your parents aren't ready for us, we can't force them to be. All we can do is lead good lives. And take things from there. Right?"

He intertwined his fingers with hers as a slow, oddly melancholic smile spread across his face. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Sofie blushed ever-so-slightly. "A bunch, but it never gets old—"

The next afternoon, she found herself pacing the corridor garden of Constanta Castle. Her makeup artfully painted by Natalia, her gown trailed behind her as she paused, gasped at the time, hurriedly making her way through the opposite double doors and eventually, the tower's upper balcony. Up the circular stairwell, through a corridor, up another set of stairs—

And suddenly—she stood stock-still—there she was. Her kitten heels clicked softly on the smooth slate floor as the ceremonial music commenced. She walked—not lonely, but alone, an independent woman—radiating confidence, beauty, and inner strength, Karlo silently gaping all the while until she reached the hexagonal trellised threshold overlooking the overcast sea.

"You look beautiful," he murmured, squeezing her hand thrice. I. Love. You.

She grinned shakily, realizing that though there were not many present, all that were had played an integral part of her journey here, to Constanta Castle, and to Karlo soon after. And so, the ceremony began. A few words from Helena served to welcome the attendees, those few guests that had made it their mission to show up; the rest was a blur. Sofie's heart raced, adrenaline coursing through her veins as seconds, then minutes ticked by.

Karlo began his vows by reciting a paraphrased quote by Rumi. "You...take my heart completely and make it more fiery than a dragon. Your eyelashes...write on my heart the poem that could never come from the pen of a poet." He cleared his throat; Sofie noticed his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Sofie-my-skylark, I love you for who you have made me. Our love has been forged in fire, tested, tried and true, much like diamonds from the rough. Your soul calls out to me and I want to spend the rest of my days loving and holding you close, as husband and wife."

More words of beauty transpired as she found her left ring finger held in his hand, with a pair of wedding bands encircling her solitaire soon after, much like an orb of sunlight and its beams.

Soon, it was her turn. "Karlo, when we met, I had no idea what I was doing. I thought I was living life as I was supposed to. Doing what was expected of me. But around you, I truly started living. Kismet, or those 'meet-cute' stories...they never applied to us. But then again, maybe they were never meant to, in this magical, messy world we're in. The prince saves the princess in those fairy tales of yore...but the truth is, between meeting you, you sacrificing yourself in turn, and our reunion in Joshua Tree and beyond—I think we saved each other." She paused, collecting her thoughts. "And to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. Paraphrasing Beau Taplin, you help me become a stronger and more passionate person; I feel capable of anything around you—you bring out my best self. I love you, to the moon and back."

More minutes flew by, his left ring finger now adorned with a ring of his own.

"You may now kiss the bride—" came Helena's pronouncement.

Here's to us.

Less than an hour later, they entered a side courtyard of Constanta Castle, finding a long table adorned overhead with string lights. Who decorated? Sofie wondered, as she and Karlo found themselves ushered forth to their seats, covered in gauzy pearlized fabric. Dinner and conviviality in good company.

As early evening turned to twilight, the string lights went aglow, a dazzling constellation sparkling above as Sofie and Karlo began their first dance as a newly married couple.

Once the pair said their goodbyes, they headed off to their honeymoon destination. Not long after, once she and Karlo had settled in their Air B&B suite, she studied her triad of rings, those two sunbeam-like pieces of metal surrounding her pepper-hued solitaire.

"Is this the end?" she wondered aloud, rotating her jewelry back and forth, its surfaces glittering with every turn.

"It's only the beginning," answered Karlo, seating himself beside her, as they kissed for what would certainly not be the last time that night.

And they lived happily-ever-after...or something like it.