I Envy Your Pride *dnf*

Wrath

Hi I am so sorry I havnt updated in a while I have just been doing my exams and stuff  and if I'm honest just havnt really had the effort but I'm exited to be back!!!

Dream pov

I woke up feelings his warm body pressed againts mine. And wondered how long this would go on. How long I would lead him on like this. I didn't love him. I'm not gay. I just needed company and validation and that's what he gave me. Who am I  kidding ffs I had fallen for him. For every inch of his perfect body.  I love his  beautiful brown eyes, his contagious pearly smile, and every other part of his  heavenly self. I know it sounds cringy but it's true. And I hate myself I hate myself so fu*&ing much for not wanting people to know any of this.

George pov
I could see that there was something in his mind. So I didn't want to ask him the questions i was dreading to know the answer to... "SH@T WE'RE LATE WER ARE SO LATE" he jumped up and started getting ready hastily.

Dream pov
We arrived at school at break and all the boys were waiting for us at the table naturally I held his hand and  and instantly let go again. I saw the faces of the boys and autatically felt sick.

George pov
I was so shocked when  held my hand IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Was he proud to be with me? Was this him coming out? Did I just make him forget about everyone else? "WHAT THE F&£K ARE YOU DOING YOU CREEP I JUST WENT TO GIVE YOU A HIGH FIVE". Apperantly he wasn't proud, he wasn't ready to come out and I didn't make him forget for very long. It was like he cut open my chest with his words and ripped out my heart with his bare hands. Not only was he embarrassed to be with me he was willing to make a fool of me to save himself???!!!

Dream pov
Why. Why did I do that. He ran out and I just stood there not knowing what to do, hating myself."LANGUEGE" Deral screamed and for some reason I just ran to the bathroom as if I was the victem. When I got there I was ready to breakdown when I heard George crying in the stall next to me. "George-"
"no just leave me alone I don't want to talk to you"
"my fight or flight kicked in and I ju-"
"You just chose flight?"
"i chose flight..."
"it was like you where embarrassed of me, do you know how that made me feel?! You chose your pride over me! WHAT AM I TO YOU IF YOU CHOSE YOUR PRIDE OVER ME? You make my world go colourful and vibrant and I know if you felt the same way we wouldn't be having this conversation." he said through his sobbing.
"George I'm sorry, I'm so sorry and if I could turn back time I would hit rewind without even thinking about it i promise. But do you really think its easy for me? You walk around happy being the person you are. People love you, the REAL you. You aren't afraid to show your sexuality you aren't afraid of judgement . I ENVY YOU OKAY. I Envy Your Pride. I wish, I just wish we were alone just us in the world so-"
" so you don't have to hide me? So you don't have to feel embarrassed of me? So you don't have to show me off because God forbid you have to do that. ffs just leave me alone please Clay I want to be alone. "
Was he right? Is my ego getting the way of how I feel for him? Oh sh#t what have I done?

George pov
I heard his footsteps slowly walk away and the door slam shut behind him. And that when a waterfall of tear came rushing sown my face and they just wouldn't stop. I hated him but all I wanted to do was feel the warmth of his touch and the safety of his embrace.