Hiraeth

Chapter 3

Audra Farley.

I made a mistake once and lived to regret it.

It was a rainy day on the streets of New York. I had skipped school for the third time that week and the ninth time that month for reasons only I understood. The principal was frustrated and threatened to suspend me if I skipped at least a class but that didn't stop me from sneaking out immediately after. I found my way out of the building, crawled up the fence, scraped a knee, and ran as fast as I could, just so they wouldn't catch me.

Secrets of my life were unfolding before me. It frightened me, I was scared the world would think I was crazy and lock me up in a mental asylum far away from my family. No one knew the things I saw, no one knew how far I had gone, no one knew my capabilities, no one knew the things I heard and it only got worse every single day.

My world was turning into a nightmare. I shivered while I walked, flinched with the slightest sounds, screamed when the voices got too loud, woke up with marks on my skin and when I tried to show anyone, they would fade. Everyone thought I was making it up to get attention, even my mother didn't believe me and a time came when I didn't believe in myself anymore. I thought I truly was crazy like my friends had said.

Maybe everything I thought was real was just an illusion or my mind playing tricks on me, maybe that was what insanity felt like and I was nothing more than a psychotic teenage girl who screamed at everything.

My mother yelled at me for long minutes, calling me names I never thought I would hear from her. She had spent hours at work and came back home to meet me curled up in the corner of my room, crying and shivering in fear. That was something I did whenever I got too scared.

Anyone would think I was scared of the consequences of my actions but I wasn't. I had no remorse for what I had done. I was glad I left school, at least no one would tease me at home all alone and no one would be there to hear me speak to nothing and cover my ears in fear. I was fine with whatever came with it, even if it was getting starved for a whole day.

It was seven at night when I decided to take a walk to free my head and that was something I lived to regret. It was an attempt to take things off my mind and focus on the things around me instead of the ones in my head. My mother didn't know what I did, she didn't know I left the house and I didn't bother talking to her about it. I just silently walked out of the building in a sweaty shirt and jean shorts. I felt what I was doing would shut out the voices and probably the monsters inside me for the few minutes I would spend outside.

Slowly, the population on the streets reduced. People went into their shelters to protect themselves from the harsh weather and drizzle while I walked in it without a shiver. I

I didn't know what time it was when it happened but it all took place in less than a second.

I suddenly stopped walking and so did every other thing around me. I felt the wind seize, the little drizzle beating my skin pause and my mind go blank. I didn't know what was happening till my body hit the ground and my eyes sealed shut. That was the last thing I remembered from that night.

I was found unconscious the following day by the police and was taken to the hospital immediately. I stayed stable in a coma for a whole month and when I finally woke up, I wished I didn't. I couldn't live with the reality of what happened to me. No one told me till I started feeling the symptoms myself, they were scared I wasn't in the right emotional position to know what had happened that night but it didn't take a week before I figured it out myself. When I did, my mother was the one to tell me the whole truth. The truth about how I had a baby growing inside me throughout my time unconscious.

I was assaulted.

Samara Shaw.

Mother was right when she said it would be a lesson for me.