BMC Oneshots, I Guess

CHRIStmas Mountain Dew?

Don't mind the all caps in the title, it's another inside joke for one of my friend's OCs.

Not ship-centered, just chaos. Plain chaos.

This is like the accident child of the accident child that is this book.

Jeremy stared at the bottle of soda on the table. "Are you sure about this?"

"Not really but it might be cool."

"Ok it MIGHT be very bad but hey, at leatht we'll know for future referenthe!"

"RICH CAN YOU MAYBE JUST NOT?"

Michael played an annoying alarm sound on his phone to get everyone's attention. "Everyone just shut the feck up. Thanks." He stepped off the chair he was standing on. "As you already know, this is a horrible idea, courtesy of Jeremy Heere's one braincell when he was high." He nodded in his boyfriend's direction. "Thank you Jeremy. Care to explain your brilliant idea?"

Jeremy gave him a look that seemed to say Why am I dating you? and sighed. "I was wondering what the special Christmas Mountain Dew would do to a SQUIP. There."

There was an awkward silence before Christine spoke up. "Jeremy... that is literally so stupid but also so smart." Jeremy nodded. "I know. What should we do with it?"

He got a variety of answers.

"Put it away and never think of it again because it's a fecking stupid idea!"

"DO IT!"

"Check what happens!"

"Try it!"

Jeremy waved his arms in the air to signal for everyone to stop. "YoU kNOw wHAt, ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT STOP STOP STOP." Everyone stopped yelling, except Rich, whose exclamation of "CHUG IT," was clearly heard in the silence.

"I'll do it." He picked up the bottle of Mountain Dew and unscrewed the cap. For a moment, Jeremy hesitated as he contemplated what the SQUIP might do if he reactivated it. He took a tiny sip from the bottle.

Nothing happened. Maybe you needed like half the bottle? WAS THERE A PRESCRIBED AMOUNT OF MTN DEW TO TAKE FOR SQUIPs TO ACTIVATE???

He took another sip. Almost immediately a jolt of pain went up his spine and he fell to the floor screeching demonically.

After the shocks had subsided, Jeremy got to his feet and was confronted by a strange sight.

His SQUIP had indeed reactivated, but there were some changes in its appearance. In place of the trench coat, it now had a Christmas sweater and Santa hat. It was also wrapped in Christmas lights for some reason.

Jeremy didn't know whether he should scream and run away or laugh hysterically. He settled for a cross between the two.

"Jeremy? Are you ok? IS IT HURTING YOU BECAUSE IF IT IS I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"No," Jeremy wheezed, trying to calm down his boyfriend. "It- it's just- oh my god." He tried to pull himself together.

He failed miserably, collapsing into a hysterical mess on the couch. "OH MY GOD IT'S SO CHRISTMASSY WHAT THE FECK I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS?"

Chloe stared at the chaos ensuing. "I think we broke Jeremy."

"Yeah. Pass me the Mountain Dew Red, won't you?"

I'm so sorry this was short, I didn't even properly plan this-

Hope you liked it anyway!