Protective Shadows (The Protective Series, Book 2)

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Searing pain ripped through my hip the moment I pulled myself up from my laying position, slowly peeling my eyes open from my unconsciousness. I gasped, clenching both my eyes and teeth tightly shut, wincing at the intensity taking over my body. I had no idea how long I had been out for, but it seemed like seconds ago I had been standing beside Asko on top of a cliff.

From the corner of my eye, the hem of a black t-shirt hanging loosely from a lean figure caught my attention. Whoever it was played and fidgeted with his fingers a number of times, the veins in the back of his hands and forearms bulging to the surface of his skin. A dark sleeve of tattoos covered one arm, and that's when it hit me.

Janne.

I had been shot, and I was now dead. I had to be, right?

"J-Janne," I croaked, my aching throat feeling as dry as sand. "Am I dead? Is this heaven, or hell? Or is it something entirely different? Is there even such a thing as heaven and hell?"

He knelt by my bedside, peering his curious, friendly face over the railing blocking off the right side. A silver bar protruded through his thin, almost non-existent brown eyebrow, furrowing as he drew them both together. "I'm not Janne," he answered in a mixed Finnish and American accent. "Jed, you know me. I'm Dominik, remember? Janne's brother."

I blinked hard a few times, skimming my eyes over the person once more from head-to-toe. The sleeve of tattoos I had hallucinated were gone, and instead his arm was covered with a thin layer of dark hair. He wore a white t-shirt underneath his open black denim jacket, and glinting around his waist in the harsh sunlight filtering through the bedroom window was his weapons belt, sitting just below the waistband of his grey jeans. The knees were worn with rips and tears, the ankles frayed, but Dominik didn't take much notice. Either that or he didn't care, like Janne wouldn't have.

"Sorry," I whispered, swallowing against the knot in my throat. I quickly glanced away from his eyes, averting my gaze to the shiny linoleum floor. "I thought you -

"It's okay," Dominik tried to reassure, resting his hand against the railing. His fingers twitched. as if he were attempting to resist touching me for moral support. "I know how you're feeling."

I exhaled a sigh through my teeth, scratching the back of my head. Lying for hours and hours dressed in a white linen gown always made every pore on my body itchy, but for what reason, I wasn't entirely sure. Maybe it was because they were freshly washed and dry cleaned, while in contrast I had adapted to wearing semi-fresh clothes. I usually only put a load of washing on if the basket was full, which could take up to a week or two. I hated hospitals, ever since last year when it felt like I had constantly been in and out of them, but having Dominik here by my side kind of helped, even if it was painful seeing Janne in his face every time I looked at him.

"I can't imagine how painful it must be for you," I murmured, leaning my throbbing forehead against the underside of my hand. I desperately craved water, but I couldn't see the jug anywhere in plain sight. "You were with him for every day of your life. I wish I could have been too. Maybe, if we had some more time together, I wouldn't feel as crap as I do right now."

Dominik turned away from me to the portable table nearby, swivelling back around on his heel with his fingers wrapped around the handle of a light blue plastic water jug. "It doesn't matter how long you knew my brother for," he said indifferently, sounding numb on the inside. "The pain doesn't automatically grow easier since you knew him for two years. If anything, the pain you're experiencing would be the equivalent to mine, or perhaps more intense." He paused, tilting the top of the jug forward. The water poured out from the mouth in a neat, swift stream, circling around the inside of the plastic cup he held in his unoccupied hand. "I know you were in love with him, Jed. And believe me when I say, he felt the exact same way about you, even if, towards the end, you went your separate ways. That doesn't mean he stopped caring for you, not even for a second."