𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 || 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥

Chapter 39 - The Truth Comes Out

Needless to say, my head was pounding when I finally awoke.

I didn't know if I was grateful to have missed the ensuing fight and the heart-to-heart that Chris had finally gotten with his father or not. I had wanted to be there for him. I think Phoebe knew that, too, though. I could tell when she hadn't fussed at me for immediately wanting to go find Chris, even when Paige insisted I rest a bit longer after my ordeal.

Sometimes I felt like Phoebe understood me better than anyone, maybe because of what she went through with Cole - or perhaps in spite of it. Either way, she didn't prevent me from seeing Chris after everything had went down and Paige, complying, orbed me up to see him.

I admit, the whole being-on-top-of-the-Golden-Gate-Bridge thing was a bit daunting. Especially for someone downright terrified of heights. Evidently, heights didn't scare Whitelighters though because Chris looked completely at home sitting criss-cross-applesauce atop the bars.

Tentatively, I walked over closer to him, being very careful of the drop-off on either side of me in the process.

"Hey, babe...can we talk?" I asked him softly, glancing up at my boyfriend in concern.

Chris was silent a moment and I bit my lip, unsure of just what he'd say in response. But slowly, his hand reached down to mine and I gripped it tightly. Within seconds, I had been orbed up beside him, his arm immediately encircling my waist to insure my safety...and probably his comfort as well.

"There's nothing to talk about..." Chris told me plainly, still not meeting my eyes.

"That's not true," I couldn't help but say, linking my fingers with his, "I think there is. Quite a bit, actually,"

"Do you know I was 15 when I first met you? Really met you, I mean..."

"You're avoiding the subject,"

"Don't care. Listen to my story,"

A grin split my lips at that and I shook my head, wanting to absorb all the information he would give me, all of the secrets of the life we had shared that I knew nothing about.

"You'd been away...for most of the years I was growing up. I remember mom being so excited you were finally coming home. Aunt Phoebe and Aunt Paige, too,"

I made a face, "Since when do you call them Aunt?"

"I don't know, since I grew up with them," he shot back sarcastically, sending me a playful smile afterward.

I rolled my eyes then as he continued, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "You were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen... You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen,"

"Chris," I said softly, shaking my head at him but he went on.

"Needless to say, you were a bit old for me at the time. But I never forgot that day you walked into the house. The sun was shining behind you, giving you a halo... I'd never felt anything like that before, that weird feeling in my chest - like I couldn't breathe. I thought I was dying-"

"-gee, thanks-" I interjected with a smile, Chris ignoring me all the while.

"-and Wyatt kept teasing me. That's the first thing that came to mind when I got here, that day in the attic..."

His voice trailed off then, his words lost in the noise of the San Francisco night. I almost didn't know what to say - this was the first time Chris had truly opened up to me since he arrived. Even more so than when I found out we were engaged in the future.

Gently, I reached out and cupped his cheek in my hand, turning his face to mine. Wordlessly, I pressed my lips to his, my mouth covering his own in a sweet but passionate kiss. His hand gripped my waist tighter, pulling our bodies flush against the other. I reveled in the warmth of him as he held me, feeling love radiate through our lips before we finally broke apart.

I couldn't help but smile then, letting it slowly slip as I gazed back into his eyes.

"So...are you going to tell me now or not?"

His mood changed ever so slightly and I could feel him starting to pull away from me emotionally again.

He shook his head, the breeze coming off the ocean ruffling his brown locks, "It doesn't matter,"

I squeezed his hand gently in my own, "It does to me, Chris. You're my world and I love you. I think I deserve to know the truth about this, about what Leo did that's so bad,"

Tears welled up in his green eyes then but he blinked them back, swallowing hard as I rubbed comforting circles on his arm with my other hand.

"He was never there for me. He was there for everybody else. For mom, Wyatt, half the world, but he was never there for me. He didn't have the time..." he confessed softly, his words hanging in the air between us.

I nodded, sighing as it sunk in, "So...maybe you came back from the future not just to save Wyatt, maybe you came back to save your dad too. To save your relationship,"

Chris sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to bite back a sob as he shook his head once more, "I doubt it."

Tears pricked my own eyes then, feeling his own sadness begin to break my heart as I gathered him in my arms, his head on my chest, "Oh, baby..."

A raw sob ripped free from his throat then and I held him tighter as he gripped my arms and let it out, let out all the emotions that he'd been bottling up these past years. In that moment, I think I truly hated myself - for not knowing just how much pain Chris had been in this whole time.

And for not being able to do anything about it.