Being the Alien(Short Story)

Is this what you call love?

This food reminded me of people. Sounds crazy, huh. I never forgot the moment I met Travis. Yes I said I didn't need friends but that was all a lie. I was just afraid of the world afraid of  what would happen if I stayed like a weak one. Back then in middle school I was the class clown the one who always smiled but I was also the most picked on. Every time they spouted hurtful words Your fat Nobody wants you. Travis sticks around with you because he just feels bad about you I just couldn't help it I cried and there was Travis defending me as possible. I knew for a fact Travis stayed with me because he wanted to not for pity. Anyways I hated being depended on others I wanted to be the one they looked up to. 

My dad he was scary back then he hit me for being a little nobody he hit me for being soft and not doing nothing to defend my self. Every word was corrupting me but Travis was the light in the darkness. I owed him but I payed him back with mean words and getting him trouble. What was even worse I stole his girl I knew he had a thing for Veronica but I didn't care I made her mine. But I am actually glad she broke up with me that February it's April spring break and they are the cutest couple in the world. As you know were in spring break which means this is the most trashiest thing that happened to me. Funny right get chovid during your chill hour. That day when I got caught for vandalizing school property by trying to make a joke of Donald Trump was when I started to get even more closer to Christy. I let the days pass to ask her out because  for the first time in forever I felt nervous. Love was not important to me. I didn't  need it but every time I made Christy smile she brightened my day. So to get that smile I brought her things and with out realizing it acted like my middle school self lowering my guard down. 

The first date I went with Christy was something else. All the dates I went on wads pure boredom and a pain they telling you Charles look at that. Charles I don't like playing around. But to Christy when I smudged her with ketchup on her face she laughed and tried to get me not whining that I ruined her makeup. What I never expected was to feel weird. I was confused one day when she asked me to meet up with her at the park. I started to sweat like crazy terrified to hear the word break-up. I intensely cared about her that's what I am thinking right now before these feelings were covered up technically I was holding back maybe I was just afraid of hurting her knowing what I turned out to be. 

So when Christy pronounced the word love I froze not knowing how to react in the end I hugged her and gave a long kiss and left Christy in a state of shock. I knew she was expecting an answer but I didn't know how to give her one. After that I was more distant with her. I was giving myself a time to think an answer which was hard to form. Not being by her side was painful. I bet I messed up by not going to her congrats party. Food is like people as I said. Christy is the mushy part. Whenever I think of her I dissolve I turn into a mindless robot. She is the good part about my life. 

Every time she told me to go apologize, every time she told how the others were hurt, made me realize things. But as the bad boy I shrug her off trying to be strong and not hurt myself even further but instead of making myself better I made myself worse. Those words of my comrades hunt me during sleep making the nightmares vivid. Sometimes I can't help it and hurt the world with my pranks I may get a laugh but then I feel funny like a whisper brushing my ears a tone of sadness and disappointment. Regret is all I feel. Shame is all my face shows. Is it to late for redemption? Is it to late to confess to Christy? I yearn for her. A long time I have I was just confused of this feeling. I used to think is this what you call love? But now I know that I just don't love Christy I fell for her so hard that I need to go to her and see that smile that I love. This is exactly what I love but it may be far to late this corona may be holding me back with force this time. I will survive and tell the people I hurt to forgive me before it's to late. 

Crying is not a weakness crying just proves your alive. You don't have to have a cold heart to survive this world you need friends like Travis, Josh, Christy, and Tom to survive with out them you live a desolate lonely world. In a world where no one can hear you screams of desperation. Once you give them the cold shoulder you can't go back. But not me I will beg till their back as m6 friends. I need to stop being a person I am. I need to survive corona before this guilt crushes me. I went to the mirror and checked my self out man I look like a mess. I'm like a walking zombie with a new plan ahead.

Finally Charles has something good to fight. When you have love in your heart you are stronger then the people who assume they have strong hearts. Love this part my book-worms. I did since I love love. 🥰🥰🥰-Daisiesaresweet