Letters to both my future and past selves

To past me.

It was been almost 4 years and I honestly haven't been doing the best but im still pushing forward.
I no longer dream of a first kiss because it happened but it wasn't as exciting as I'd always dreamed. I no longer dream of a first love, however I do believe that it is possible. You were so excited to grow up but now I just want to stay here, I no longer wanna grow up. There are so many things I still need to learn and grow with. I've lost a few friends but I believe it's been for the best, they weren't safe to be around and they weren't the best influence to you. Over these 3 and a half years you've learned that you want to travel the world but you also want to start streaming and stuff like that. You don't have the right equipment just yet but it's always been on your mind. I hope that future me has fulfilled some of this. At the time I'm typing this I've been 17 for 1 month
I hope I age safely and well.