Wow, I'm Not Crazy

Maybe it's a date

"Will you stop looking at Em for one second to acknowledge me?"

I snap out of my trance to look at my best friend Jared's annoyed look. "What do you mean? I was paying attention."

Jared looks me up and down. "Yeah sure, whatever. Listen for one more second, because it's about Em."

I can sense the tips of my ears go red. "At least I actually have a crush on someone."

Jared dismisses the comment with a wave of his hand. "Oh please, at least I have a girlfriend." He looks at me, waiting for a comeback that I'm not cruel enough to give. "Anyway, since you never wanna hang out with me, what about you tell Em that I am inviting her to the haunted house Chloe and I are going to tonight. I'll take Chloe, you take Em."

I stare at him with huge eyes. "I-"

Jared smiles. "Sh sh, don't thank me."

"Wait, Jared!" I call after his retreating figure.

He looks over his shoulder, still grinning. "Just get to class with your giiirlfriend," he coos.

I sigh as I watch Jared meet up with his girlfriend Chloe and walk to class. Chloe greets Jared with an impatient smile and links arms with him as they walk away. Chloe is always dressed out in some despicable shade of orange, while Jared is usually seen in a subtle yellow. They seem to make the two colors clash. I shoulder my book bag and turn to the opposite direction. Jared does have a girlfriend, even if he doesn't actually have feelings for her. He'll always be able to hold that over my head. I pop in my earbuds and start playing music on my walk to class.

I just want to get lost. I want to go to the clouds, where no one but the birds can reach me. My feet start climbing stairs that aren't there. I close my eyes and let my feet carry me. I extend my arms and sway them like branches. Soft, puffy blue clouds flow over my hands. I retract my arms and run my fingers through my hair. Emma's laugh circles around me and mixes with the music I am listening to. I smile to myself and keep walking. My eyes are closed yet open at the same time. This is my imagination. This is how it looks and sounds.

I slam into a wall and fall back on my rear end. I open my real eyes to see a stunned Emma standing in front of me.

"Asher? Are you okay?" Emma kneels down beside me and offers me a hand.

I slip my hand in hers quickly, stand up, and get my bearings. "Yeah I just got...lost."

Emma gives me a quizzical look. "Haven't you been going to school here since 7th grade?"

I grab her shoulders and steer her toward the classroom. "Look, the bell's about to ring. And here I was thinking you cared about your tardies or not."

Emma looks over her shoulder and smiles at me, "You're insane."

I laugh at that. "Are you telling me you're not?" We plop down in our seats and set our book bags on the floor.

"So I have exciting news," I begin, with a classic smirk on my face.

Emma raises an eyebrow at me. "Please define your version of 'exciting' for me, because winding up with detention like last time is not exciting."

My smirk shifts to a grin. "Oh please, it's better than that. Jared has formally invited you to go to the local haunted house with us."

"As in 'us' you mean..."

"Yes, Chloe is coming too," I sigh.

Emma groans in exasperation. "Seriously, when is Jared gonna drop her?"

I want to tell her, but I know I can't. I give her a clueless shrug instead. "I've tried to peg him about it, but no luck. Maybe he's doing it for the street-cred."

Emma laughs. "You're right. That's so something Jared would do."

I shift uncomfortably. She hasn't said yes. "So, maybe you'd be interested?"

Emma looks playfully thoughtful, her ice blue eyes glancing up at the popcorn ceiling. "I'll let you know by the end of class, how 'bout that?"

I feel my heart skip a beat. She has shifted closer in her seat. Play it off. "Oh, c'mon," I sigh as I roll my eyes up to the ceiling as well.

Her laugh circles around me again. "Well, do you want me to go or not?"

The bell rings before I could give her my answer. The question drills me into my seat. Thoughts of Emma rush into my head all at once. I probably would've just said yes. But in my head I know I want her by my side at not just the haunted house, but in everything. Music is my sail that sets me free, but Emma isn't the anchor dragging me down. It is the thought that I can never be with her. It is the thought that I am just a friend to her. Every time I look into her ice blue eyes, I don't want to stop. Just the thought of holding her in my arms sets my nerves ablaze. The ice blue brings back memories of when I was a little kid, and I had turned the bath water so cold it felt like it burned. That memory rushes into my head everytime I stare into her eyes. But I will never tell her that.

I partially listen to Mrs. Jacobs rant about how being different is good, and all the other anti-bullying stuff the school gives to teachers. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Emma pull a light blue Sharpie out of her bookbag. She quietly pulls the cap off and starts doodling on the corner of her paper, and I smile to myself. She is so perfect. Emma sets the Sharpie down and starts running her fingers through her silky black hair, as if she is just trying to mess with my head. I attempt to keep my gaze unnoticeable as she weaves the locks of hair into a defectless braid. As Emma ties off the braid and tosses the hair back over her shoulder, she locks her icy eyes with mine and smirks at me, as if she has known I had been admiring her this whole time.

I feel the tips of my ears turn red again and strictly focus my attention on Mrs. Jacobs. Emma then grabs my wrist and pulls it towards her side of the table, and I try not to peek at what she's doing. I feel the cool tip of the Sharpie brush against my skin in neat strokes as Emma's eyes narrow in concentration. Emma eventually pushes my hand back, reseals the Sharpie, and returns to her classwork. I bring my hand up to my face to inspect the writing. They tell us to be different, but no one said that I could go too far. Very poetic.

I lean over and whisper teasingly, "Well, what do you mean by too far?"

Emma shoots me a look. "Oh, you're just sick."

I laugh under my breath. "I couldn't be, I've taken all my Flintstone gummies."

Emma tries to muffle her laugh with her hand, and Mrs. Jacobs glares at her. "Well I took all my vitamins, too" Emma challenges.

I quirk an eyebrow at her. "Oh really? I didn't know I had a fellow Flintstone fan."

The bell rings, and Emma plops her book bag back on the desk and packs up her work. "You think so little of me, Asher," she humorously scolds. Emma slips the bookbag on her back and begins to walk out the door.

"Wait! You never told me if you were coming or not!" I yell back at Emma before she leaves.

Emma spins on her heel and considers my request. "Sure, why not?" she shrugs harmlessly.

I beam back at her as she turns back around. "I'll text you!"

"You better!" she calls back as she disappears from the door frame.