Wow, I'm Not Crazy

Mad World

The chainsaw comes at my face faster than I expected. My grip on Emma's hand tightens as I pull the both of us out of the way just in time. The chainsaw crashes to the ground along with the stranger in a Jason mask. The four of us had to sign a bunch of waivers to say we won't sue if one of the employees touches us, so I'm on high-alert.

I lead Emma into another hallway that seems to be abandoned as fast as I can. I haven't seen a clown yet, so I try to act heroic for the time being. Emma seems spooked but tries to hide it with a nervous grin. How Emma and I ended up holding hands, I don't know. We sit down on a secluded bench and catch our breath.

"Well, we lost the highlighters," I joke.

Emma puts on a real smile this time. "Ah man, I saw my life flash before my eyes."

I decide to test the waters and look her in the eye. "Was I in it?" God, that was so cringy.

Emma looks momentarily flustered, but rebounds with a cool but a hint of smug look on her face. "Yes, it was a great life...with you."

An invisible cord between us tightens as it pulls us together. "Do you remember the part where we kiss?" I'm reaching for everything I have at this point.

My face cools as her eyes sweep over my face. "I don't remember the exact details," she begins. "But I think it was right here."

We lean in, and I feel as if I'm in a mix of hot and cold. Her cool breath nears mine, and my heart hammers. The cord pulls and persists, and it's so close. It's so close. Emma's eyelashes flutter as the ice disappears, and all I feel is warmth, and I wait for the soft sensation of her lips to refresh me.

Screaming echoes right by my ear as I feel the bench flip over. I open my eyes to see curly, rainbow hair, and I scream as well. My legs propel me, and I sprint as fast as I can. I have to get out of here now. All other thoughts escape me as air whistles in my ears as I run. I side-step tables and leap over fallen decorations, but then I trip. I trip over the fact that I left Emma.

I deeply inhale and sprint right back, but harder than before. Emma is more important than any childish fear of mine. They could actually lay hands on her. I eventually locate the lone hallway, but only find it empty. My heart drops as I panic. I run off to find Chloe and Jared, but no luck. They must have finished.

When I stumble into the lobby, it feels like I've run a 5-k. Maybe I have, considering how many times I dashed around the gigantic building. Chloe and Jared stand to the side talking, and I now run up to them. I try to get the words out, but end up panting like a dog. Chloe regards me with disgust, but Jared's face flushes with worry and concern.

"Asher, you good, man?" Jared asks.

"Do...you know where...Emma is?" I heave from between gasps of breath. My sides are splitting.

Chloe speaks up. "She's in the bathroom right now. Said you tried to kiss her then freaked out and found an excuse to run away. Pretty sure she's calling up a friend to pick her up right now."

I gape at Chloe in horror. "Can you go in there and tell her I can explain?"

"I don't think there's any changing her mind," Chloe snorts.

Jared puts a hand on Chloe's shoulder. "Chloe, c'mon, please?"

Chloe glares at Jared. "He's your best friend, Jared, not mine. Even if Asher did try and ditch Emma, I didn't see you holding my hand like that."

"Chloe, babe, c'mon you know I-"

Chloe cuts Jared off. "Don't you start. When was the last time you said you loved me and meant it?"

"I always mean it!"

While I tolerate their bickering, I almost miss Emma making a mad dash from the bathroom to the door. I tear after her, but I barely have any speed left. She hustles to her friend's car, and I try to call after her as the car speeds off. I heave another breath as I plop down on the sidewalk. Minutes pass with me sitting in isolation.

Chloe and Jared exit Mad World noisily, with Chloe draped over Jared's arm, and some makeup smeared on Jared's cheek. I guess they made up. Jared gives Chloe a peck on the cheek and jogs over to talk to me.

"What happened in there?" Jared asks as he sits down beside me.

I sigh and speak slowly, "I have the perfect chance to kiss her, and I almost do, when a clown jumps out from nowhere and sends me running to the hills. When I realized I left Emma and ran back to get her, she's gone."

Jared ignores Chloe's impatient cries for a single moment. "I'm sorry, man. Maybe y'all can work it out tomorrow in Mrs. Jacobs's class." Jared finally gives into Chloe's calls. "Coming, babe!" He turns back to me one last time as he gets up and pats me on the shoulder. "See ya, Asher."

When I finally build up the urge to go home and sulk in my bed instead of on the sidewalk, I get in my car and drive. I don't play music, I play my own. I play music in my head. New chords, new beats, and new lyrics dance in my head as my hands grip the steering wheel tightly. I think back to all the times Emma and I have shared and insert them into the song. The ice seems so, so cold now. I just try to think of all the times the cold filled me with warmth.

When I arrive home, I slink into my room. I have to do something. I actually have to tell her how I feel this time. A kiss doesn't say as much as a song can. A kiss is just the cherry on top of a Disney movie. But you have to think of all the work people spent writing, producing, and choreographing the songs. The songs take so much more work, and in the end, the song is always replayed over the kiss. The song prevails. The song is what makes the two main characters kiss. And I'd do anything to get that moment back again.

I grab my guitar off the wall, open my notebook, and turn on my computer. I pour out the music I created in my head into the computer. I create, experiment, and complete. I make it perfect, I make it how I feel, I make it to where if the song doesn't work, nothing ever will because this is my pure honesty. After that, I am able to sleep.