Remedy

Chapter 5

Seokjin tunes everything out again.

There's clatter in the kitchen and the television is on in the living room. He walks briskly from his room to the restroom with his clothes in one hand and a new towel. He takes his time showering. Adjusts the water until it's at the right temperature. Waits for the steam to make the room less cold.

It's a little over a week until he's got school again. He's keeping track in his mind of everything that he has to do before he needs to go. He runs through the checklist while he washes his hair and turns the water off when he's done clearing his head. He dresses quickly because it's cold and then tries to go back to his room undisturbed, but his mom's in the hallway and she stops him.

"Hey, are you doing anything today?"

"Yes. I'm going to Taehyung's house." She nods and Seokjin awkwardly waits for her to let him go.

"How's he doing?" She looks like she's getting comfortable and Seokjin just wants to leave already. He's driving over to Taehyung's house and they have plans to catch a movie. He doesn't want to be late.

"He's doing good. He's moving into an apartment next week." He doesn't know why he said that. He's just prolonging their conversation.

"His parents make good money, right?"

Seokjin shrugs. "I guess."

"I miss Se-ah," she sighs.

"You and her were good friends." Seokjin calms down a little now. He knows he wasn't the only one affected when Taehyung's family moved.

"We were close. They didn't keep in touch with us though, so not as close as I thought." Seokjin doesn't know what to say to that. "Say hi to her for me please. And to Taehyung."

Seokjin agrees to and then rushes back to his room.

Taehyung had asked Seokjin if he wanted to stay over and he's said yes. He's an excited kind of nervous. If he was just meeting with Taehyung there'd be no problem, but he's dreading having to talk to Taehyung's parents. He hopes they can slip by unnoticed.

He gets dressed and gathers his things before getting on his truck and taking off. He plays some music while he drives and taps his hand on the steering wheel. He thinks about going on a road trip with Taehyung. That'd be fun.

While he drives and sorts his thoughts. There's something that he's been thinking about for every single one of the eight days since it happened.

Seokjin is good at getting used to things. He thrives off establishing routines and staying in his safe place, unchanging for as long as possible.

He used to think that was one of his biggest flaws. He had a friend in high school. Maybe more of an acquaintance. Either way not someone close enough to say what they said.

"That's your problem Jin. You stay in your comfort zone too much and you never try anything new. You're never going to get anywhere like that."

He'd felt so bad afterwards. His stomach hurt the whole day.

Sometimes he thinks about their words and wishes he could go back in time and tell them to shut the hell up. Seokjin knows better now. People move at different paces, live their lives in their own way. He actually finds it pretty brave now, how he moves forward when he has to, even if it terrifies him. Also, he knows he's reliable and loyal. Good with commitments. He's learned to accept who he is.

Running into Taehyung was unexpected. There were so many new things that came with their blooming friendship. New things to get used to.

Seokjin thinks back to his talk with Taehyung about having met each other again at the right time. He used to have less confidence before. Even if he still struggles now with some things other people do with ease, he knows he's progressed a lot. He doesn't stammer out his sentences when he's nervous or avoids looking people in the eye. He's sure that his past self wouldn't have been able to reciprocate Taehyung's feelings. He'd be too caught up in his head to let himself see what was right in front of him. And even if he did, he wouldn't have ever been able to make a move.