Remedy

Chapter 8

The happy feeling that Taehyung gives Seokjin encompasses everything. 

There's still stress from too much schoolwork and studying and phone calls from his parents he keeps getting at the worst times, but there's also a happiness that follows him everywhere. It's knowing that he's going to get to see Taehyung later in the day or that he'll see his face first thing when he wakes up when they sleep together. It's looking forward to eating lunch with Taehyung and kissing him before they part ways. It's just Taehyung and his existence brightening everything around him.

Taehyung explains the feeling as a filter. They're in his apartment and Taehyung is painting on the balcony while Seokjin drinks coffee and takes notes on the table. Taehyung has an assignment due in two weeks that he's been working on constantly and Seokjin asks him what his painting is about.

"Throughout our experiences in life, there's constantly a wide array of emotions and states of happiness and unhappiness. There's no destiny or pathway that leads to complete misery or paradise. Even in sorrow and despair, there's moments of laughter and in utter bliss there's obstacles. Our lives are never hopeless but also never perfect. But," Taehyung stops and he's got a paintbrush on his hand that he's using for emphasis.

He's drowning in a huge shirt that goes past the shorts he's wearing under and his hair is pulled into two buns. He looks absolutely adorable.

"Sometimes there's this filter in our lives that makes things all gloomy or all bright. Things are going perfectly fine, but you feel sad inside," he points the end of the paintbrush to the right side of the painting. "Or you're going through a hard time but there's something that still gets you to smile." Now there's a tap on the left side. "It's a filter, the way you look at life. It can be chosen or a consequence of circumstances. Pessimism versus optimism. Privilege versus getting drawn a bad hand."

Seokjin looks at the painting. The two sides juxtaposed against each other. Full color and grayscale. And there's Taehyung in the middle.

"This is for my self-portrait project," Taehyung goes on. "We're supposed to show how we view life and how we view ourselves. That's why I used bright colors for my own face. Things aren't completely okay, but I think right now I'm the happiest I've ever been." Taehyung looks at him again now that he's finished and sets his paintbrush down before walking over to him.

"And what's been making you so happy?" Seokjin grins.

"Well, there's this tall, handsome guy with really wide shoulders that's responsible for a lot of my happiness lately."

"Oh, should I be jealous?"

"I thought you weren't the type," Taehyung sits on his lap and throws his arms around him.

"Well, if he's that handsome."

"Oh, he is," Taehyung assures. He's got the biggest smile on his face with his big cheeks and teeth and crinkles in his eyes making him look like the definition of happiness. "Very handsome hyung."

Seokjin smiles and hugs him close before kissing him.

"Fuck, I stained your pants with paint," Taehyung hisses when they pull away. He jumps up and rushes to the glass door.

"It's okay," Seokjin calls out.

"It's acrylic. It won't wash off," Taehyung yells from where he ran inside the room. He comes back with a wet cloth and he spends time cleaning Seokjin's pants until they're paint free even though it's really okay.

Taehyung goes back to his painting and Seokjin goes back to his homework. When Seokjin's frustrated he stops and alternates between watching Taehyung paint and looking for shapes in clouds. The day is cloudy, and the air is fresh but not windy so that his papers flap around. The weather, like the moment, is perfect.