I only let people see what I want them to see. A modified truth. A fabricated story.
No one knows me—the real me... that whenever I start to question who I really am, my mind turned completely blank.
My personality is based on who I am with. This is not the common 'blending in' like most people do, this is way more than that. Sa bawat grupo ng taong aking nakakasalamuha, naghahain ako ng iba't-ibang putahe, I share different truths about me, but give them the same lies. A rebel child, a suicidal kid, an average student...
...a member of a group.
Lucky is the person who gets to find the real me among all those mes. Only Jashiel and the rest gets a closer glimpse of my truths. Wala nang iba. Sina Krisha at Jomaia ay kakilala ko na mula noong tumungtong ako ng high school, but they never got the chance to know me more. But I still consider them as my friends. I may be secretive to them but my intentions are always pure. They're too kind to be just used. Adding the fact that I feel normal when I am with them.
Kinuha ko ang bente sa pitaka ni Jashiel, it looked like a disgusting worn out tissue. May tatanggap ba nito 'pag ibinili ko?
Napalingon ako sa isang batang nag-aalok ng kung ano sa mga dumaraan, he's on the other side of the road, approaching people, but it seems like he's invisible, no one even dared to throw him a single glance, ni iling mula sa mga tao ay wala, they just walk pass through him.
I should be walking straight, but my feet started to walk across the road.
"Hoy, Miss! Putanginang bata 'to!" I didn't even bother looking at the man screaming profanities at me right now. If he didn't stop the car right away, I'm probably kissing death. "Tangina, magpapakamatay ka ba?!"
I'd love too. But this town is too crowded; and bleeding in the middle of the street is kind of messy; and people will photograph my bloody body; at habang hinahabol ako ni kamatayan, ang tanging maririnig ko ay awa at paghihinayang. So, no. Dying in a messy way and deafening crowd is too chaotic and ugly.
"Sorry old man, sorry I'm walking on a pedestrian lane! I'm too dumb!" Sigaw ko sa kanya pabalik. He must've realized the sarcasm on my words when he dropped his gaze on the fading white paint on the road.
I looked behind when the honks are getting louder and louder.
"Hoy wala ka bang balak umabante? Aabutan ako ng traffic sa'yo! Malayo pa ang biyahe ko!" Said the man behind him habang walang tigil na hinahampas ang busina.
The old man threw me a glare one last time before maneuvering his car. He even attempted to hit me but I already got to the other side when he almost reached me.
"I hope we meet again..." Bulong ko sa hangin.
I exhaled loudly, that man wasted my time. I'm hungry and angry now.
Luminga-linga ako sa paligid nang maalala ang dapat gawin. Nahagip ko ang batang ngayo'y naka dapa na sa lansangan. The small, rectangular basket he was holding—that contains cigarettes and candies—were scattered on the ground.
So that's why he's approaching people... para magbenta.
"Tangina mo, 'wag mo akong hahawakan! Ang baho mo!" A guy standing in front of him shouted as he kicked the basket once more. Ang mumunting barya ay nagsikalat sa lansangan. The kid hurriedly picked every peso as if his life depends on it... or it really does.
