The One Without The Happy Ending [18+]

Twenty-Three| Damaged Souls

Shelia's POV

Cℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 Twenty-Three
Damaged Souls!

——————

I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED. WHAT IS LIFE? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE THERE ARE HUNDREDS of babies being born every day. Every minute. And they say that each and every one of us is born for a purpose in this life. How are we supposed to know if we've completed that purpose? How are we supposed to know when it's our time to go?

When is my time to go? Life hasn't been good to me. It never has. And I don't think it ever will. From the moment I was born, neglect became my best-friend and pain became my backbone.

I pushed myself forward, wanting my parents to notice me at least once. I wanted them to be proud of me and happy that I was their daughter. But that never happened. And my resolve keeps slipping away second by second.

The only good thing to come out of my life was Hunter and Ryder. But the funny is that I have only ever given then pain and caused them trouble. Selfish may as well be my middle name. I have nothing left to give back for all they've done for me. The only thing that I can give them is peace.

Peace. The things I've done to get a glimpse of peace. It seemed to abhor me and life continued to torture me. The last time I attempted to beg for silence, even that didn't work and it sent me back, more scarred and tortured than ever. But I've had enough. I can't be selfish anymore. My life isn't mine. My mind isn't sane. My body is dirty.

I don't deserve the good things in life like Ryder and Hunter. They have to forgive me, but I only want the best for them.

Hell or heaven, I don't care. I just want silence.

Just silence.

It may have not worked the first time, but who said it wouldn't work the second. Drugs had always been a close companion to me. The one small item, I could always rely on.

My bones cried out as I forced myself up, entering my messy bathroom. Opening the signature medication cabinet, I pulled out the strongest pill I owned.

I could do this. I had to, for Hunter...

For Ryder.

It was wrong, unacceptable for me to continue to destroy their lives. I had always been such a burden, and no longer could I do it to them. Especially not Hunter.

For so long he had been the one to raise me, look after me even only been a year older than me. He's missed out on a large amount of his teen years, for what?

A pathetic girl who can't avoid trouble.

This is karma. For ruining everyone's lives around me. For being such a disappointment, a failure. I have nothing left for me in this toxic universe.

Turning the packet of drugs over, I popped the back allowing them to break free, falling onto the counter. Individually, I counted how many there was.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

"Is this enough? Yes, it should be. If that isn't enough to make silence overcome me, then nothing ever will." This is my last chance. This has to work.

I swallowed each pill, one by one, feeling a sense of bitterness overcome me. I wiped away any traitorous tears that had escaped my eyes, and washed down the last pill with the tap water. What does it matter what water I drink when my life is over, anyway?

The drugs surprisingly had an almost immediate effect. It blurred my vision and my head spun.

There were two sinks. Two toilets. Two showers. Two sets of me in the reflection of the mirror.

I laughed, finding humour in the situation. But this wasn't enough. Stumbling my way out of the bathroom, I blindly made my way towards the balcony.

The drugs wouldn't be enough. They weren't last time. They wouldn't be this time. I needed silence. And these drugs wouldn't help me achieve my goal. I need to jump over. Jump over the fence to my afterlife.

I laughed again, losing my balance and blindly reached for the balcony door — instead knocking into my old vanity. This was my entrance in. This was the start of everything good. I had to succeed in this. Or else I'd live the rest of my life a failure.

————————