Frozen Family (La Squadra x child!reader)

1-Welcome To The World Dumpster Baby!

3rd person POV

It was your normal night for Sorbet and Gelato, slightly blood-stained clothes, a wad of cash in hand, and the satisfaction of completing a hit. As they walked down the moon-lit alleyway, there was something out of the ordinary. There was what sounded like a baby crying.

Sorbet and Gelato looked at each other before looking at a dumpster where the noise seemed to be coming from. Opening the lid, the two gazed upon a crying newborn baby with little wisps of H/C hair.

"Aw it's hungry..." Gelato said before looking back to his husband hopefully, "Can we keep it?"

"Well we have been thinking about getting a kid haven't we?" Sorbet said as he reached down to pick up the baby.

When the baby was secure in the dark haired assassin's arms, it ceased it's wails. It looked up at the two with big E/C eyes. 

"Aww!" Gelato cooed before looking for anyone that might be the parent of this child, "Should we name them?" 

"I was thinking about Y/N, what do you think?" Sorbet smiled at the baby in his arms that paid no mind to the small bit of blood splattered on his shirt.

"I think that's the perfect name dearest." Gelato said as he leaned on Sorbet's shoulder, tickling the baby now deemed Y/N.

---

Before returning to the base that also served as their home, the pair picked up some baby formula, diapers, bottles, baby clothes, baby soap, and a baby blanket. With their arms full with shopping bags and a now sleeping child the assassins returned home.

They didn't expect anyone besides Risotto (who would probably be in his office) to be up at this time of night, but when they opened the door they got a clear view of Formaggio in front of the fridge. Formaggio turned around when he heard the door open, his mouth filled with shredded cheese.

"Formaggio what are you doing up it's-" Sorbet looked at his watch, "-3am?"

"I was hungry." Formaggio shrugged as he swallowed the cheese, "What do you got there?"

"Nothing." Gelato said quickly as Sorbet tried to conceal the child in his arms.

"No You have something, lemme see." Formaggio smirked as he tried to grab what was in Sorbet arms. 

"Back off asshole!" Gelato said a bit loudly as he tried to pry the buzz-cut man away from his lover.

All three of them froze when a loud wail came from the the bundle in Sorbet's arms.

"Oh... No- is that..." Formaggio took a step back, pointing at the crying bundle in Sorbet's arms.

"Shhh shhh little one." Sorbet frantically tried to shush  the crying baby, it didn't stop crying.

Gelato was looking around nervously, hoping that Sorbet would be able to calm the baby before someone woke up. While Formaggio was standing there shell shocked, there were heavy foot steps coming down the stairs. There was also some yelling which they could only assume was Ghiaccio.

"Shit." Sorbet and Gelato cursed, which caused Y/N to stop crying.

It was too late though, as they were staring at the looming figure of their capo, Risotto Nero. A few more foot steps of varying intensity followed. Soon enough they were standing in front of the entire hitman team. 

"Sorbet, Gelato, explain." Risotto's deep voice reverberated.

"W-Well, you see-" 

"WE FOUND IT IN A DUMPSTER!" Gelato yelled, cutting off Sorbet.

The baby giggled and made bubbles, which would be cute had they not be faced with possibly having to get rid of Y/N.

"What do you plan to do when you have to go on missions? Do you just expect one of us to watch them?" The goth pointed to the baby in Sorbet's arms.

"Simple, we'll just take them with us." Gelato said confidently.

"That's probably not the best environment for a child to be in." Melone piped up.

"Well what do you suggest?" Sorbet glared at the lilac-haired man.

"Simple, I take care of them while you're away." Melone continued before anyone could interject, "Think about it. I have experience with children and with my stand I can stay out of harm's way even if I have to go on a mission while you guys are away."

"That's true..." Gelato thought for a moment before looking at his counterpart, "What do you say babe?"

"I think it's our only option, so sure." Sorbet the looked to Risotto, "So?" 

Risotto sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"Anything they need comes out of your paychecks." The goth turned around and walked back up the stairs.

Ghiaccio grumbled and glared at them before stomping up the stairs himself. Formaggio ate another handful of cheese, yawned and went back to his room. They weren't quite sure where Prosciutto went, he seemed to disappear halfway through. 

Melone helped the couple take the baby stuff up to their room, even giving them a crib he had because of his stand. He instructed them on how to properly hold a baby, how they had to burp it after eating, how to warm up formula, how to change a diaper, etc.

It was about two hours later before Sorbet and Gelato were able to get any sleep. Between having to listen to Melone explain everything about taking care of a child, to having to feed, change, and wash said child.

They did though find out that it was a little girl. With a new journey starting for the couple, it was time to sleep.

---

They were woken up who knows how much later by the sound of Y/N crying. Sorbet and Gelato shot up out bed thinking something was wrong. When they noticed it was just Y/N, they sighed in relief.

Sorbet got up and picked up the crying baby, rocking her back in forth in an effort to quiet her wails while Gelato went to go make formula. It sort of worked as Y/N's wails died down to quiet sobs.

Sorbet handed the baby off to Gelato before looking at the clock on his nightstand.

"Huh, it's 9am, we got a solid four hours of sleep." Sorbet lamented.

"Hey at least our little principessa probably isn't waking anyone up at this time of day." Gelato said as he smiled at the baby in his arms.

"Yeah I don't know what Ghiaccio would have done if he was woken up again." Sorbet chuckled as Gelato handed him Y/N to burp.

"I think they'll all come to love her. I think Melone already does." Gelato said with a mixture of a smile and a grimace on his face.

"Yeah-" Sorbet's laughter was cut off by a strange sound and something wet running down his shirt.

"Gelato..." Sorbet said with a shell-shocked expression on his face.

"Sorbet... I think she puked on you."

---

A/N

Do I have self control? No. Should I be updating Love You Lots? Probably but I'll do that tomorrow.

Anyways, have this new book that I've been itching to write!

It'll get more interesting as the reader gets older, but for now enjoy some wholesome La Squadra and baby interactions ^-^

Stay tuned and I'll see you next time!