"Oh shit."
I could see Sara's mortified look; she knew I rarely shared my feelings with people I knew, but I had just told my blind date that I wouldn't date him because of his heritage and that I was really messed up, with a lot of baggage.
I mean, I was messed up. And I did have a lot of baggage, but I would never have told anyone that.
Especially not a blind date.
Especially not this particular blind date.
Let's be honest, he was incredibly aesthetically pleasing. His eyes caught me off guard, the way they were so blue, but so green at the same time. His hair had a distinct erythraean look and the fact that he was beautiful made me more angry that I had shared and also more angry that he was Irish.
"Ace, wait, it's alright." I heard Gus's voice. I was closing my eyes and covering them partially with my hand. How morbidly embarrassing.
"This is my friend, Frankie Hagan. Frankie, this is James Callaghan."
"Hi." I smiled briefly and he did the same.
There was a silence, then, but I ignored it, trying to control the heat that was rushing to my cheeks.
"Well, our reservations were for 6. We'd better leave if we want to get there...." Sara left the sentence with the unspoken question.
"Well, there's no reason why we can't all go have a merry time," I tried not to come off as too sardonic," if that's what Mr. Callaghan wants." I threw the ball in his court.
"That's why I came."
I squinted at him and folded my arms, walking to the front door.
As Gus passed me, he whispered, "Don't be angry with me."
I raised an eyebrow, but didn't say a word. I couldn't believe that I was going to go through with this.
The drive to the restaurant was uncomfortable at best. I was seated next to James in the back of the car and I avoided looking at him the whole time. It didn't really matter, because he was diverged in the conversation with Sara and Gus.
I found myself overwhelmed with memories of Pace as I glanced out at the passing scenery. I closed my eyes, tightly, trying to think of something else, anything, our family reunion last year, anything to pull my mind away from those large brown eyes that haunted my thoughts.
"You okay, Franks?" Came Sara's voice from the passenger seat.
"Just a little carsick," I lied again.
James leaned back against the seat and the rest of the ride was silent.
We reached the restaurant and I dreaded eating dinner with these three with every step I took.
***
I smiled politely and tapped my flip-flop on the tile floor of the restaurant, waiting for Sara and Gus to finish their food. I didn't order much and excused myself twice already. I just wanted to get back to my apartment and forget this night ever happened.
They finally finished eating and I gave Sara a sarcastic grin. She smiled back, guiltily.
"Should we go?" I tried not to seem too antsy.
Once I stepped out into the cool night air, I started feeling so much better. I let the wind brush it's fingers through my onyx hair and even let a real smile escape my lips.
"Frankie?"
I turned to find James looking at me expectantly, "Could I walk with you?"
Inside, I rolled my eyes, but on the outside, I fake smiled and nodded.
We started down the sidewalk and I didn't say a thing. I yawned and he did, too, before he spoke, "I'm sorry that tonight...was not like expected."
"Oh no, it was grand," I lied.
He chuckled sarcastically, "Oh yeah, it was pure gold, love."
"I want to apologize for walking in on what was obviously a personal conversation. I didn't know you were Pace's old girl. I'm sorry about what happened between you two. I hope it doesn't affect this in anyway."
It was nice of James to go out of his way to apologize, but I kept getting angrier with each word.
"Look, James," I smiled insincerely, "You seem nice. But you know nothing can happen between us. And I'm more interested in my career right now."
"Career?" He seemed genuinely confused, "What are you pursuing? Sara said you didn't have a career."
I turned my head, so he couldn't see how angry I was getting, "Oh? Yeah, I'm publishing a novel. It's really time consuming, all that writing," I lied.
"Really? That's amazing. What is it about?"
"Oh, juvenile stuff..."
"I'd like to read it, if you wouldn't mind."
"Maybe when I finish it."
Thankfully, Gus had pulled the car up next to us and ended the conversation.
***
"How was it?" My sister Cam gave me that look, "Don't lie to me. I want the truth."
"It was awful, Cam. I never want to see him, again."
"Oh, c'mon, he's a super hot Irish guy and Gus said that he was going to be here for the next month."
"No, Cammy, no. I promise, I never want to see this guy again. Ever."
"You can't miss Gus and Sara's parties, Frankie."
"If he's there...I won't be."
"Frankie, you're acting like you're in high school again. Just relax, we're all adults, here."
Mom opened the door, her heart shaped face filled with curiosity.
Before she could ask, I threw myself on my youngest sister, Jane's bed, "No mom, it didn't go well. Please don't ask me about it."
"It's okay, Frankie, he's just one date. You have 9 more to go."
Cam perked up, "What's going on? What's with all the dates?"
"Sara and I decided it's time Frankie got out. If she goes on 10 dates, we'll leave her alone about guys."
"10 dates? Mom, she's not gonna go on 10 dates, unless you put a time limit on it."
"Shut up, Cam."
"Oh, oh, if you go on 10 dates in 20 days, we'll leave you alone, but if you don't make it, you have to go on another date with that Callaghan guy."
"Oh, I love that!" Mom piped up, grinning.
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Sweet Contradictions
RomansaFrankie Hagan is sick of love. Stuck in a world filled with best friends that are "all in", she can't find a decent reason to fall back into misery. Claiming she isn't bitter over her breakup, she agrees to keep an open heart for 60 days and go on...