Sweet Contradictions

Chapter Seven: Learning How To

        "Hey." 

        "Hey," I replied back, trying not to let him see just how upset I was. 

        The farewell party wasn't anything too grand, just Gus, Sara, Cam, Callaghan's sister and husband, my mom, for some weird reason, and me. 

        "Would you give us a second?" Callaghan told the crowd and I felt heat rise to my face as he grasped my hand, pulling me away. I didn't make eye-contact with Cam, or my mom or anyone else as we walked outside, waiting for his flight back to Ireland. 

        "How are you?" 

        "I'm good," I gave him a smile and looked up at him. 

        "I'm going to miss you, Frankie Hagan." 

        I wasn't sure what to say back to him. I wanted to tell him I would miss him back, but I felt like those words were inadequate for what I felt, but I didn't want to come off as desperate, either. So, I stood there, like an idiot, staring up into his sparkling green eyes, not bringing myself to say something normal like, "I'll miss you", instead I said, 

        "I'm in love with you." 

        I couldn't believe what I had said and I almost ran away right then, but as I turned away, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me close to him. 

        "I'm in love with you, too." 

        "You are?" I knew my voice was surprised and a little bit weak, but I couldn't help the feeling inside that fluttered wildly at the thought of him in love with me. 

        "Of course. How could anyone not be?" 

        I snorted and he laughed, "I'm surprised that you don't have an army of men banging on your door, asking you to please be their wife." 

        I couldn't help the laugh that erupted from me; the laugh that quickly turned into tears and into me wondering when I had become an emotional wreck. 

        He leaned in close to me and gave me a quick peck, but I couldn't let him leave with just a peck. 

        "Hey," I whispered to him and he came a little closer. 

        "Yah?" 

        "Give me a kiss to remember?" 

        The last kiss I shared with Callaghan before his flight flew up into the blue American skies, off to Ireland, was definitely a kiss that I couldn't ever forget. 

        "Tell Freddy to get better," He said to Cam, before giving my mother a warm hug.

        "Goodbye." 

       ***

        I was infinitely grateful that I had kicked my old roommate out of my apartment six months prior, because I was glad for the privacy. 

        I had to reevaluate my life after Callaghan headed back to Ireland. Of course it was over, the little three week fling. It couldn't last, no matter how much I thought I loved Callaghan. I thought I had loved Pace, too. 

        But I couldn't push down the little voice deep down inside that kept telling me Callaghan was different. 

        He was a dad. By choice. 

        So? There's a lot of assholes who are dads. 

        But he wasn't. There was something so raw, so real about him. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't chase him to Ireland like I'd chased Pace. I couldn't bring myself to make a desperate move again.