Forbidden Desires

1.

As Hope walks through the crowded hallways of the Salvatore school, on her way to her room after leaving Landon in his dorm, that he now shares with Wade. Josie is all she can think of. She knows she should feel happy, she knows she finally got what she wanted, but something feels off. She feels this emptiness in her chest.
And as if time freezes the flashbacks of what happened with Lizzie and Josie. With the ascendent and how the black magic tried to take over them.. over Josie.. she felt guilty. She needed to apologize to them. Without realizing it she was knocking on the twins dorm room. No one answered, so she patiently knocked again.
'Who is it?' She heard Josie call out.
'I-its me Hope, may I come in'
'Hope? Hold on I'm packing some things'
Packing?! Hope began to feel uneasy.
'Oh.. okay'
Josie slowly opens the door after a minute or two.
' Um...hey, come in' Josie stepped aside to give Hope just enough room to pass. 'Sorry for the mess, packing is way harder than I thought. Anyway what did you want Hope?' Josie said as she turned around continuing her task.
Hope looks around for a second, she sees boxes with Josie's name on it perfectly stacked on each other.
'I- I came here to apologize to you and Lizzie, I.. I'm really sorryJosie. For everything that happened, I didnt mean for things to get out of hand'
Hope looks at Josie who has her back on her, and she sees her take a deep breath she nervously shoves her hands in her jean pockets.
'Look Hope what done is done, I appreciate your apology I really do.. but I dont think I'm willing to accept it. Not with how much pain Lizzie and I went through. I know you don't care about anyone else other than Landon.. so please dont act like you care.'
Hope looked stunned, surprised at how Josie responded. She didn't expect this. Hope took a step closer to Josie.
'Josie no you dont know what your saying, I did everything I could to save Landon, he would have done the same thing for you. Why are you acting like if I betrayed you'.
Josie turns around, fighting her tears. She can't cry.. not now. Not in front of Hope.
'Hope dont you realize.. haven't you even considered that Lizzie or even you would have died.. I could have died, and for what Hope..' Josie takes a step closer
'you manipulated me, you used me.. and you out of all people know I hate being used, you.. you betrayed me..' Josie turns around facing away from Hope and starts packing again 'I would do anything Hope, anything for you and you know it. You fucking know it. I can't even hate you..' tears start to fall freely down Josie's face and she laughs dryly' I can't even hate you Hope. You have this power over me, wherever you go I follow,  you push and I pull, I take every little crumb of attention, and affection no matter how small it is because all that matters is that it comes from you... and I- I know that this has to end. It has to stop. I'm done being the person you can do whatever you please with. So I've made up my mind I will leave this school, this life, my magic, and you. This will be the last time you'll ever see me, this will be the last time we ever cross paths. I have to do this, I must do this for me.. in the first time in forever I will do something that is my choice, my decision.'
Hope looks terrified, she looses her balance for a second and regains it back quickly. Something within Hope clicks,  something desperate something she can't control, her mind goes in autopilot.  She closes her eyes and can feel her wolf take over, and she allows it.
'Josie no.. you.. I won't allow it.. you can't leave.. this is your home.. you belong here, here with me.. you won't leave.. you- you are mine.. ' Hope's eyes turned to a dangerous shade of yellow. Her body began to move on it's own , she took a step closer while Josie turned around slowly
'Hope you can't say that- your eyes- Hope you need to leave.' Josie says as she starts to panic
'No..I'm not leaving,' Hope said while taking another step closer to Josie
'Don't you realize I'm going crazy right now.. the mere thought of you leaving.. of not seeing you.. of not feeling you..is unbearable'
Josie pushed her panic side aside, and laughed dryly once again.
' no Hope, you don't get to say that, don't even dare to say that again. You had no fear no regret of losing me for some stupid weak guy not so many hours ago. I won't be manipulated by you again. I won't fall for you again. I started a new life. Something.. something that is free, something I don't have to sacrifice for the greater good, something that is mine and only mine Hope'
Hope with a still persistent stance stares at Josie. Josie feels her anger rise and she no longer keeps it in
'I WONT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME HOPE, DON'T YOU SEE YOU'VE TAKEN SO MUCH FROM ME. YOU COULD'VE TAKEN MY LIFE.. AND I WOULD'VE LET YOU.. I WOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO YOU FREELY.. I WOULD HAVE... '
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
'  when I saw Lizzie in pain, when I felt the dark magic take a hold of Lizzie I.. I realized I can't let you have me. I dont want to want you the way that I do. So please leave. Leave me like you did before, with no goodbye, with no apology, with no regret. Because I'm not yours Hope. Not anymore. You chose him, so be with him, and forget about me.'
Hope felt her heart shatter, she felt her whole world crumble with the words that Josie spoke. She needed to break loose, her wolf was begging her to give in and take Josie far away where it was only her and Josie, but she hold back, and looked in to Josies eyes and she for once realized she lost the only person who never left her.. who always chose her.. who never  lied to her.. who never used her.. she realized she lost the one who was the best of her. She reached out her hand and gently touched Josie's cheek,  Hope didn't understand why.. why she let this happen.
' Josie.. do- do you want me to leave you.. is that what you truly want..'
'Hope if I told you what I truly wanted you'd still choose Landon, and that's something I cant- I cant bare'
Josie tries to look away, but Hope gently holds her face still.
'Please tell me Josie, look me in the eyes and tell me what you truly want, what you truly desire'
'I- I can't.. i can't Hope please'
Hope's eyes brightened with the plea.
' Josie tell me, dont fear me, I need you to tell me what you need '
Josie felt weak she felt something in Hope's eyes calling out to her, a desire.. a craving, something forbidden.. her body was going out of control, she felt as if her body needed to give in to Hope. As if in sync Hope grabbed her waist and used her strength and speed to corner Josie against a wall.
'Hope.. why do you need me to say this,
Josie said with her voice just above a whisper.
'Because I won't lose you without a fight, because I need to know what you crave of me, what you desire.'
Josie felt her desire and her forbidden wanting grow with every second that passed by.
'Tell me love, I can hear your heart beating so fast I can even smell your wanting"
'Hope... your with Landon.. I can't.. i can't give in to you.. I mustn't ..  I can't admit  that I want you, that I crave you.. that's what you wanted me to confess.. that I'm deeply in love with you that seeing you with someone else makes me want to run away.. that I hate myself for wanting you so much because I can't have you.. that I will never have you .. that I crave your every touch, your smile, your admiration. And that I need to leave now before I go insane.. that I need to move on with someone else.. someone like Finch.. because maybe if I'm hers I'll forget of this love that will never be mine to keep'