Both of us

Chapter 1

Dear Luke,
Holy shit.Im in a freaking 'new' family.Yeah.Im shoved into a adopted family.Life sucks.I love you.I want to run away.
Yours,Zoella

Gawd my letter's shitty.But heck cares.Im staring at my scars.They're fading..but this makes me want to harm myself more.Fucking lame family.Why am I fated like this?Being sent into rehab,being shoved into a adopted family,being expelled out of school..Life simply sucks.I took the pen knife under my pillow,and started to cut.Im depressed.Nobody loves me.Except for luke.I love luke.

"Zoella!What are you doing up there?" my 'mum' called me.Fucking hell.

"What."
"Can you give me more respect?"
"I said what!"
"Oh hell.Theres no way I can handle you"
"Like I want you to do" I snapped.

Mikyla ran her hand through her hair.I rolled my eyes

"Look.If you don't want me anymore,just send me back to rehab.Im happier off there"
"But I promised your mum I would love you"
"Don't you dare bring up my mum"

No.No.This can't be happening.Ugly memories of me and my mum were playing in my mind.Her painful words clog up my ears.I couldn't.I broke down,in front of Mikyla.

Screaming,crying and all those.They kept replaying.'Just kill yourself useless shit.Is not like it would affect anyone' 'You don't deserve to live.Go to hell bitch' I couldn't take it.I stood up shakily and walked to my room.

I curled up in a corner and sobbed.I looked at the scars.Oh,it's seducing me to cut more.I walked to the toilet and opened the cabinet.

My pills.My happy pills.

I took them and gulped them down.I want to die anyway.

I found myself on the hospital bed.

"Oh shit.Im in trouble.Why am I not dead yet?"

I looked around.I saw Mikyla.Tears were running down my cheeks.I looked to my left,and was utterly in shocked when I saw my mum.My real mum.

"Zoe..why are you doing this?"
"I want to die"
"Why?"
"Life sucks.Durh?"
My mum shook her head.I couldn't say anything else cause what should I say? What,"Erh I take drugs?"

I closed my eyes and sighed.i just want life to end.I don't want to suffer no more.

"Zoella Suggs?"
"What.And it's just Zoella.Theres no Suggs here"
"I see? Well your lucky to be able to love.Those pills could have killed you"
"Lucky?Hell no.And the pills were supposed to kill me"

I ran my hand through my hair.Stupid tubes.I don't get how this stupid tubes are to hold on to your life.I sighed.

I need luke.I need him.
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"Zoella..I'm sending you to a mental institution"
"What the hell are you doing?"

I'm being sent to a mental institution.Did I mention a mental instituation?Oh I did.I'm turning 16 soon and I'm being sent to a mental institution.How bright is my life?Out of all choices a mental institution.Oh gawd.

"Why?"
"You got to be stable mentally.You can't continue being like that".

Mentally stable?What do you mean mentally stable? What makes me mentally unstable?

"You're killing me"
"It's for your own good"
"Pft.Your making my life a pain"

Mikyla sighed.I shut my eyes.16 yet so damaged.
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Dear Zoella,
I missed you.I really did.I miss your smile,your hair you.I want to meet you.But..please tell me what's going on?My parents are being as shitty as yours.I feel you.Its okay.It will be okay.Cause we'll be together happily.I love you
Yours,
Luke(Your bby penguin)

I grinned.I wanted to cry.I got mixed emotions.A day left before I'm being sent to the mental institution.And I'm spending it by lying on my bed.I took out my little black box.I placed the letter in it.I took a special letter out,a letter from our first year together.

Tears ran down my cheeks.As I read it aloud;

To my dearest girl,
Happy 1st anniversary.I love you infinates.Thank you for being there for me whenever I need you.Thank you for bearing my words that come out without any meaning.I love you and I will always will.Thank you for being my pillow whenever I cry.Thank you for being my world.Your the girl I would love.And the next person I want to hear "I love you" is from our daughter.Even though a love letter can contain the sweetest words,it still can't show how much I love you.Thank you baby.
Yours,
Mr penguin

I picked up my phone and dialed lukes number.

"Hello?"
"Zoe?Zoe?Its that you?"
"Yes it's me mr penguin"
"Zoe..I..I"
"Luke.Im calling you cause I'm going to be admitted to a mental hospital tomorrow"
"What?!"
"I myself can't belive it.But because I took those pills,Mikyla decided to send me there"
"Zoe.."
"Now you get it?Okay.I don't want to talk about this anymore.I love you.Bye.."

I hanged up.I just couldn't tell anyone about what happened to me in the past 24 hours..not even Luke.I wrapped myself with my arms.I started crying.Its not because I'm in pain,it's because I was too strong for too long.

"Zoe?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?Do you need more time?"

Do I need more time?Pf course I do.I don't want to spend my 16th birthday in a mental institution.

"Er..can you give me a day or two more?"
"Sorry Zoe..but your checking in tomorrow at 9"
"O..okay"
"Sorry..do you want to do anything?"
"No.Its better I suffer today.."
"Zoe.."
"Just get out of my room will you?"
"Well cheer up."

How can I cheer up? Knowing that I'm being sent to mental hospital the next day.I thought about my pills.But they're gone.My happy pills are gone.Now..I'm a empty stupid zombie waiting to end my life.Sigh.

"Life is a pain.A real pain in the ass.I hope I die and die happily ever after.The end". I whispered to my self

OH AND PLEASE DO TELL ME IF YOU WANT A TWIST OR SMTH(IF YOU CAN SEE WHERE IM GOING)