Chapter One

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by vialyka

by vialyka

I always ask myself, 'What do I really want?'. I mean, not the material things. It's like, what I actually want in my life. Well of course, we all want to be happy. No one wants a miserable life. We want to be successful and all, most of us wish to be. But it's not that easy.

I sighed as I let my eyes wander around the park. "Hey!" I jumped as a voice cut off my thoughts. "Would you please stop scaring me like that?" I told Faith, my friend. She sat on the spot beside me. "Geez, what's got you grumpy all of the sudden?" she asked and I just rolled my eyes at her. "I'm not grumpy, stupid." We laughed. "You've been silent since we got here, girl. Mind telling us what's bothering you?" I smiled at her, knowing she's concerned. I glanced at the small circle that I was in, all three of them are staring at me with curious looks.

"W-what? Oh no it's nothing. I've always been silent, come on. It's not like you guys aren't used to it." I replied and smiled at them reassuringly. Melanie and Daniel just shook their heads for a while then went back to what they were doing. Faith just gave me a sad smile.

Now it was my turn to stare. I stared at each and one of them, recalling all the times they made me happy. The times when I was down and they were there to support me. Then I stared at Mia, she wasn't in the circle, but she was near the place we were in. She was laughing and being silly with her friends. She was my best friend when we were in the eighth grade. I didn't know what happened. But now, when our eyes would stare at each other, all we do is offer a small smile.

She was pretty you know? I've been always insecure. I think all girls are, in my opinion. But mine's different. I often think about her looking like she never had problems. Like she's taking in life easily. But I knew her struggle and I'm proud that she overcame it. I envy her appearance. She has these pretty brown eyes, she was as tall as I am, she was physically fit, and she has these curves like she's been working out. Not only did I envy her appearance, but her attitude and personality as well. She was confident, fun to be with and silly. She was smart, and cheerful. Full of optimism.

I shook my head. Why am I thinking about this? I sighed. I removed those negative thoughts in my head and decided to socialize in my small circle. I laughed with them, knowing that I'm just faking it, it made me feel.. well, fake.

After minutes of hanging out with them, I decided to leave. But they were all talking I couldn't get the right time to tell them. I mean, what would they think of me suddenly leaving? Am I a killjoy or something?

I glanced at Faith who was just listening to one of the stories being told. Maybe I should ask her. But she's listening to a story. What if I disturb her? Would she think that I'm disturbing her? Fuck this shit.

"Umm.. Faith?" I said softly, she looked at me and raised her eyebrows. "I-I have to go," I muttered awkwardly. "Oh, really? Sure," She smiled. "Hey guys, she needs to go," My eyes widened at this, she didn't have to tell them. I was okay with only her knowing I was going to leave for a while. My friend who was telling the story, Melanie, stopped. "Take care!" She said cheerfully. "See you tomorrow," My other friend, Daniel said. I released a long breath I didn't realize I was holding. They were okay with it. "Thanks guys, see you!"

I stood up and started walking away from them. I was on my way to my locker with my head down and still thinking about stuff. I heard loud footstep that sounds like he or she was running, but I did not bother looking up. Thinking that the hallway wasn't that small for someone to bump in to me.

But boy was I wrong. It's like, I was running into a wall. Someone bumped into my shoulder and I closed my eyes getting ready for the impact of the cold hard floor. "What the fu-" I heard a male voice say before I felt arms wrapped around my waist. "Oh," Said the voice again. I slowly opened my eyes to see an angel- err, I mean a boy. We didn't stare at each other like it was love at first sight, it was totally awkward. I stood up and he removed his hands from my waist. Is it weird that I actually want those warm hands wrapped around my waists again? Wait, what? "Uh, thank- oh no, I mean, sorry."

"Sorry for what?" He asked. Is this guy stupid? "Sorry I bumped into you," I explained to him. He gave me a weird expression like he's confused or something. "No no no, I'm sorry. I was running and I wasn't actually looking at the direction I was going," He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. I shook my head at him, "I'm still sorry though, because neither was I," I couldn't look him in the eye, I was too shy. Ooh that rhymed.

Then there was uncomfortable silence. For me though, I don't know if it was okay for him. "What kind of atrocity is this? A nobody talking to someone like Luke?" A voice boomed, making me look at the person who said such shit. Or maybe I didn't have to look because by the annoying click of her heels, I already knew who she was. The hallway got a bit quiet, a few whispers coming from the students who were near.

My heartbeat quickened, knowing that I would be humiliated. "Anna," this 'Luke' guy warned. "Oh dear, Luke. Don't tell me you're going to defend this.. girl?" She even hesitated to call me a girl. I turned to walk away but this barbie grabbed my arm. "Don't ignore me bit-" No I did not slap her. "Don't touch me," I snapped, glaring at her with all my might. The student around us 'ooh-ed'. I glanced at Luke behind her who was smirking. Bruh.

I pulled off my arm harshly from her grip and stared at her up and down. "How dare you! This is not over!" She fumed. Barbie, it's never over because it never even started.