Verbatim [h.s]

Twenty *

// Warning: Discussion of emotional and physical abuse as well as suicide//

"She broke my heart." His voice is pained and it the last straw to snap my now broken heart. A tear streams down my cheek but I ignore it. This is about Harry.

"What happened?" My voice breaks but we both ignore it. I feel Harry shake and his arms tighten around me.

"She was err- she was my first ever girlfriend. She was actually dating another member of the gang and that's how we met." He shakes his head slightly. "From the first time I saw her I was in love. Everything about her called to me. I should've known why but I was blinded by her beauty and her ability to worm every man around her finger within seconds." I can feel the anger radiating from him so I coo some it's okay, I'm here, she can't hurt you to try and encourage him.

"We were together for 2 and half years. The best and worst years of my life. At first, she was sweet and sexy, she really could command a rooms attention. And god did she know it." He shakes his head. "The guys never liked her, I should've trusted my boys. They'd told me from day one that she would be the end of me."

"It was small things, like constantly texting and calling. I liked it at first because I felt wanted. I felt loved. Then it got to where she would be asking where I was 24/7 and if I didn't reply within 5 minutes it would end in a row. A huge row. She'd-"

I hear him mumbling a string of fucks until he sits up out of my arms, he throws his head into his hands continuing with his mumbling. I sit up following him, rubbing my hand up and down his back.

"It's okay Harry, say whatever you feel comfortable with. This is a safe space."

"I know baby, it's just- fuck- she really did a number on me. When we would argue she'd scream and shout, I would hold back all my anger but sometimes it was too much I'd scream back." He spits all of this out without taking a breath. "Then it err- got physical." His head still hung low and I stopped rubbing his back, my eyes growing wide.

His head quickly spins to me, I see how red his eyes are from how close our faces are. They're brimming with tears but none leak.

"Not me." He whispers under his breath and his head drops.

He's ashamed.

She beat him.

"Harry..." My voice really breaks now, tears streaming down my cheeks as I lean my head forward to rest it against the side of his. I hear his broken breaths and that breaks me more.

"It started off with a slap here and there. I thought I deserved it. I always did. Then it moved to punches. I couldn't fight back. I didn't want to. The woman I loved beat me and I did nothing about it. Because at the end of the day, I was already broken before her and I always will be."

"What do you mean?"

"My childhood fucked me up. My mother- fuck I don't even want to talk about her and my father- god bless his soul, that man was weak. Like me. Like father like son I guess."

I'm so lost. I don't even know what he is on about now. His mother? His father? Like father like son. He's clearly so lost in his head he's not even making the connections for me.

"When did you leave her?" I ask, ignoring his ramblings but storing them to the side for later.

"I kind of didn't-" He lifts his head wincing and doesn't find my eye contact.

"What do you mean?" All bad thoughts run through my head. What did he do?

"One night I was out with the boys at Verbatim, she was with me but kicked off because of some girl flirting with me. I didn't entertain her at all but this one girl wouldn't leave me alone. She ended up flipping out and leaving. I went after her. We had a massive bust-up outside the club and she clocked me right on the side of my face, knocked me clean out." He shakes his head laughing.