Half a Heart//L.S.

Chapter Five

TW suicide

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*Louis POV*

"Fizz?" I knocked on her hotel room door again. "Felicite open the cooking door is swear to god" I hammered on the door for another minute. "Fizzy what's wrong? Please open the door I saw your text and I'm really worried..." I slammed on the door a last time before collapsing on the floor. I searched in my pocket for my phone and reread Fizzys text again. 

Hey Louis,

I knew i came to visit you in London but to be honest i don't feel like going out tonight. I think I'll stay in. Please don't worry, its not your fault. You always did the best for me and i know that i promised you that i won't disappoint you and im sorry because i did. I wanted to be strong but its so hard Lou... Please never think that its your fault. I love you big bro. I'll see you soon :)

Fizz

I started sobbing so hard that i needed a second to breathe in and out. In and out.. You can do it Louis. When I calmed myself down i went to the receptionist and asked her for a spare key. This woman had an attitude, i wanted to punch her in the face. After i agued for almost 5 minutes with her i finally got the key and almost ran to Fizzys room. I was probably overreacting because my sister just didn't felt like going out tonight, but her text didn't seem like something she would normally write. 

With shaking hands I opened the door and started to register my surroundings. I didn't saw Fizzy in the bedroom so i started to knock quietly on the bathroom door "Fizz?" i whispered. I lightly pushed the door to see it wasn't locked.

But the thing is, what i saw will never leave my head. The whole floor was covered in red water and as i saw my sister laying with bloody wrists in the full bathtub i wanted to scream the soul out of my body. But i didn't. I couldn't say anything, i couldn't cry i couldn't look away. My eyes were focussed on her and the water. 

I stopped breathing, my lungs howling for air so desperately but i just couldn't breathe. 

I tried to hard but nothing. I grabbed my throat trying to calm myself down, but it didn't help. Slowly everything went black as i started to scream with the last piece of air i had left...

"Louis! LOOUIIIS YOU NEED TO WAKE UP"

I startled and sat up straight in my bed, by hands grabbing my chest as i was trying to breathe. I was in my own bubble not even able to recognize my surroundings. 

"Breathe in.....and out....You're fine.....In.......and out......" i felt my hand locking with the hand of the silhouette in my dark room. "You're going to get this...Just breathe in......and out....." 

And I did as the voice said, till i felt myself slowly calming down. Thats when i noticed that i started crying and my t-shirt was wet because of the tears. It took me a second to realize that the person in front of me was Harry. 

"Im so proud of you Louis" he whispered as he rubbed his thumb lightly over my hand.

"I-" i tried longing for air. "It was just a dream" i stated, but i slowly realized that it was not only a nightmare, but also a memory of a moment i tried so hard to forget. A moment that replayed in my sleep over and over again and i couldn't escape it. And in this moment everything broke down. Every emotion i tried to deny, every feeling i fought down and all i could do was to cry as Harry pulled me into his lap, embracing my fragile body into his. 

I buried my face into his neck not even thinking about the consequences that I'll have to face tomorrow. I just needed somebody that would hold me tight and Harry did this exact thing for probably half an hour till i felt that im okay to let go. I slowly rolled off his lap sitting next to him, staring in his eyes. It was dark in my room but the lights of the  timeshare were so bright that i could see a spark of green in his eyes.