Depression Takes Over

Depression

Stiles/Thomas

Another boring day at school had come as i dragged myself out of bed. Its not that i hate school. I know everything that we are learning its just I can't be the real me.

The real me would be Thomas:

Running to school every morning.
Not pretending to suck at lacrosse.
Being able to wear shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt

But old me has to wear:

Flannels and about 3 t-shirts to make my muscles not show as much
I need to be seen as skinny defenceless Stiles
I have to drive a blue jeep everyday that breaks down all the time

But lastly only i know about my Thomas side. My pack have no idea where i was while i was kidnapped and they will never know. I don't plan on telling them any time soon. Only my dad knows what happened.

However there is one thing i wear from Thomas that i wear on Stiles that will never change.

And that is Newts necklace with his goodbye letter in it.
I miss his smile
His British accent
His fluffy hair
His laugh
And his cuddles and kisses

Everyone from the glade and scorch had died except me.
I blame myself that i survived and they didn't.

One last thing is that nobody now about my mental health:

Depression
Separation anxiety
PTSD
Nightmare disorder
Anxiety

The pack only know how happy and sarcastic i am with PTSD. Skinny defenceless Stiles.

However underneath I am broken and scarred for life with lots of mental issues. And i am Thomas.

So back the morning of school.

School was the same as it has been for weeks since i came back and the pack are glad to have me back to my old self. Except today we had music and everyone had to sing a song that relates too them the most.

So here i am about to sing a song that nobody would of thought it would be about me.

Song at the top

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop
I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go
I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
So I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
I'm already gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

After I finished i had tears streaming down my face.

I sat back down not wanting any attention to why i had chosen that song.

However everyone thought i was sill happy and sarcastic not broken and scarred.
Nothing happened
Nothing
Nobody had asked me if i was ok or if i wanted to talk to someone.
Absolutely nothing

I was all alone again to my thoughts
Which isn't good
I have dangerous thoughts when I'm alone

Third Person

The pack had a meeting without stiles like they always do as Stiles is only the research person.

It was all going normal when a scream left the in tears and horror

"STIIIILESSSSSS"