Can I Hold You

97 - I'm not feeling good

December 2021

Lucy Styles

I curled up in bed as the pain in my belly started again. I thought it would be fucking over by now. I've had this terrible headache and bellyache for the past week and to be honest I didn't know which one was worse. The constant migraine or the fucking pain I was feeling in my belly. I've thrown up a few times due to the pain, and I had a fever earlier this week. So this fucking flu was killing me.
I've barley come out of bed for the past week and Harry have been a fucking dream. He's brought me soup, water, painkillers and endless of cuddles when I've needed it.

William had been giving him a tough time too.. I could hear them at bedtime and he had a hard time putting him to bed. And a few nights I've gotten out of bed to help, only to have Harry tell me to go back and rest.

Today I woke up hoping I would feel better only to be met with a stabbing pain in my belly.

"Lucy baby, what's wrong?" I heard Harry groan next to me and I just whined and felt his hand touch my arm.
"I'm fine, my belly hurts" I said and heard Harry sigh and I rolled to my back and then back to my side again facing Harry pulling my legs up against my belly.

"Baby I really think you should get that checked out... you haven't had a fever for almost a week, I'm sure it's not the flu" he said and I sighed and tried to open my eyes.

"I know... can you take me today? Please?" I said and opened my eyes to look at him and his brows were furrowed and he looked worried. His lips were in a pout as he just woke up and I whined again as another wave of pain hit me.
"Of course.. I'll take you I just need to get William to school and then we'll go" he said and I nodded my head.

"What time is it?" He hummed and moved around to grab his phone. "Jesus it's only 5am, Lucy baby try go back to sleep... can I get you anything?" I heard him say and I felt his hand on my arm to try and comfort me in some way.

"No... I'm fine" I groaned and Harry sighed and I tried to close my eyes and go back to sleep.

The next time I opened my eyes the sun was shining through the blinds and Harry was gone. I groaned as I rolled out of bed and held a hand over my belly as I grabbed my robe and walked downstairs. I grabbed a yoghurt from the fridge and a spoon before I sat down in the armchair in the living room.

"Hey you're up... how are you feeling?" I heard Harry say as he walked in with Nala.

"I feel awful" I said and put the spoon in my mouth. "At least you're eating something" he said and sat down on the couch.
"Mhm"

"Are you in any pain now?" He asked and I shook my head. "Not really, it feels like I'm having a tiny bit of cramps but I don't know... my head I still pounding though" I said and Harry looked at me with worry written all over his face.

With all that's been going on the past year and a half with us trying to have a baby I was drained. And I was sure this was all due to stress, I got a new job as the head of economics which I loved, but that along with taking care of William and trying for a baby and loving Harry it all stresses me out. I was sure this was just my body reacting to all that. Two months back me and Harry had huge fight about the getting pregnant thing. He claimed we should stop with the ovulating tests and the pregnancy tests I did every third week and we should just have sex like a normal married couple would. He said that it didn't feel the same anymore, like we did it cause we had to not because we wanted to. And that fucking hurt.

And he was right, there wasn't as much passion anymore. We had sex when I was ovulating and trying so hard to get pregnant that we lost our spark to it.