The Gradebook

Chapter 16: Things Get A Little Sloppy

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CHAPTER 16: THINGS GET A LITTLE SLOPPY

There was no one else I wanted to see more at this moment. Though I could barely make out what was in front of me, I recognized the person and got up, ran forwards, and embraced them in a hug.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come,” I said, feeling relieved and finally saved. “I thought you were just going to ignore me.”

“Mia. I might make mistakes, but I’m not a jerk. You needed help, right?” Ethan looked at me and hugged me back.

“M-hm.” I stuffed my face into his sweater and proceeded to take in sharp breaths and sob loudly. “Please don’t tell me you had to skip class for me.”

Ethan rubbed a hand on my back and seemed to loosen up, suddenly standing up less stiff. “Don’t worry about that. Let’s go sit by the tree. Tell me what’s wrong.”

I definitely wasn’t imagining this kind of treatment from Ethan. Wasn’t I the number one reason for his suffering in middle school – and apparently through high school? I didn’t deserve his attention and help, but I didn’t complain when I sat down right beside him, leaning on the tree trunk.

“I’m a mess, aren’t I?” I smiled bitterly, with a sniff. “I always get myself up in the most idiotic situations. I trust people that break me and I break people that trust me.”

Why was I spilling out all this information right in front of Ethan? I felt all my strong, guarding walls come down, leaving me feeling naked, completely see-through.

Then I thought about it harder. I couldn’t explain these things to any one of my friends because they wouldn’t get it; they’d question me and end up telling the world. I’d ruin my own high school life. Inside, I knew that Ethan wouldn’t go around telling anyone my secrets.

“Sh, sh…” Ethan grabbed a few locks of my hair and threw them behind my shoulder. “You never meant to. These things happen accidentally.”

I’m not so sure, Ethan. I kept crying involuntarily, rubbing my palms on my arms.

“Mia, what happened? Did you get hurt? Did someone hit you?” Ethan’s voice started to gain power, seeming more authoritative.

I shook my head. “No! No, definitely not. Would it be awkward for you if this… situation involved one of your friends?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched. He paused and looked beyond me in the distance, studying something intently. Then he snapped back to me. “No, it wouldn’t.”