Neal Caffrey one shots | White Collar

I'm here for you

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait! Life kind of got in the way and then I had a hard time finding inspiration for this book. I managed to write this one, just a short one. I'm hoping to finish the sequel to "you're home" and "these wings are made to fly" soon but it might take a while. Inspiration has left me out of ideas, sadly. But feel free to leave behind prompts or ideas you'd like to read!

And for now, enjoy!

Everytime Neal lost someone, Kate, Alex, Sara, Ellen, even James, Peter was there to witness the aftermath. Neal would fall in a dark place, fall back in old habits that lead to trouble but when Rebecca betrayed him the aftermath was different. Neal didn't fall back in old habits, no, what happened with Rebecca created something worse. Neal withdrew. He barely said anything, only left his apartment to go to work and didn't let anyone in, not even Mozzie. It was then that Peter realised that after everything Neal went through, all the losses and sacrifices he made, he finally broke. He'd finally hit rockbottom. And Peter didn't know how to bring him back.

Neal woke up feeling numb, like he did everyday since Rebecca died. He felt lost, betrayed and worst of all, he felt alone. He felt like he couldn't trust anyone, not even Peter or Mozzie. He faked his smiles, he did as if nothing came to him but all the looks, all the unsaid words, all the accusations hurt him, and losing the person he loved, for a second time, finally broke him. He pretended to be okay when he was outside the safe walls of his apartment but when he was alone, he cried, he laid in bed, just staring into nothing. Normally he would paint, he would sell it, he would commit a crime or something like that but it felt like nothing of his old life made sense to him. He didn't want to steal something, he didn't want to go out and solve a case with Peter, or con his way into getting what he wanted. He didn't have his usual energy, he was drained, physically and emotionally and he barely said anything, only answered if someone asked him. He knew Peter was worried about him, he saw it in everything the man did. Peter would try to get Neal to talk, get him out of the house, hell he even tried to get him to forge an old bond case they worked on. Neal appreciated the effort, but he just wanted to be alone.
His phone rang, waking him up from his daydream. 'Morning Neal!' Peter said, his voice bright. 'Peter' Neal mumbled, taking a sip from his coffee. 'What are you doing?' his handler asked. Neal sighed. Peter did this every morning, trying to get him to talk even the slightest bit. 'Having breakfast' Neal answered, his voice tired and annoyed like it was most of the time. 'Great. See you at the office' Peter said, satisfied with Neal's answer. He knew he wasn't going to get any more out of his CI for now but he surely could try.

Neal entered the FBI building without a smile, his blue eyes were dull and emotionless. They hadn't had their usual spark in them for a while now. He saw Peter in his office but instead of going to him for their new case he sat down at his desk, starting on paperwork. He didn't spare a glance when Diana walked by or when Jones gave him a mug of coffee. The two agents had become worried about Neal's behaviour, as had the rest of their team. Neal worked through the files quickly, it kept his mind off of the ones he lost. He barely got over Kate when Ellen died, then James betrayed him and then Rebecca did the same before she too died. It felt like everyone he loved ended up leaving him, and he didn't want to go through that once again so his natural reaction was to shut himself off from his surroundings. He was broken and nobody could fix him.

Peter knew he had to be patient with his friend but the days went by where he was ignored by Neal. He knew it was only a matter of time before he would give up on his friend. He sighed and left his office, walking to Neal's desk. Neal didn't look up when he noticed the presence of his handler. They hadn't spoken all day, it now being the end of the day. 'Neal, you're gonna have to let one of us in eventually' Peter sighed. Neal halted his writing for a second before he sighed. He looked up at Peter and Peter saw tears twinkling in his friend's eyes. Peter sighed and looked around the office. They were the only ones left. 'Neal, if you won't tell me what's going on then I can't help you' he said, sitting down on his desk. Neal sighed. He knew he had to talk to someone about it, or it'd eat him up. 'I can't do this anymore Peter, I can't work here anymore, I can't stand to be in this city. All it does is remind me of what I lost' Neal admitted. 'You want to leave?' Peter asked, not really surprised. He knew what this city held for memories to Neal. 'If I wanted to go I would've gone by now' Neal whispered. 'Then why didn't you?' Peter asked, he was confused. 'You' Neal said, looking up. A single tear leaked down his cheek but he ignored it. 'Me?' Peter said, changing seats with a desk chair. Neal nodded. 'Yeah, you, you're the only one who knows me better than I know myself. I need you around me. You, Mozz, June, El, even Jones and Diana. You're my home. I need you to keep me from the edge. I'm lost without you.' Neal said, his voice wavering and breaking at the end. 'Then why do you push us away?' Neal shrugged. 'Because I was afraid that in the end you're gonna leave me too' he said, looking down. 'Neal, we will never let you down. We're a family, we'll always be here for you' Peter said, looking Neal straight in the eye. Neal nodded. A soft smile played on his lips for the first time in a long time. 'Thank you. I'm sorry for pushing you away' Neal said. Peter laughed. 'Don't apologize' he said, getting up. Neal got up as well and Peter hugged him. 'Just don't ever do that again' he said. Neal nodded, hugging his friend back. Yeah, he knew now that he wasn't alone.