The Syren Queen | The Oceane Series

Eleven

I stared at my brother and Ronan as they chatted away, Ronan resting his foot on his left leg in a casual way I remember vaguely our father doing from time to time, a smile found its way on my lips as I watched them together, completely at ease in each other’s company and I knew that my brother approved. He had always had a bad feeling about Kai and I had to admit, I did too, but I thought it was nothing and I dismissed it. I knew now that I wouldn’t dismiss it so easily. I held my breath as Ronan looked over at me as their conversation ended and I stood, my hair floating around me as I pushed myself up off the couch and swam a few feet towards them.

“Ronan, can I,” I paused, suddenly thinking the better of my question and looked away only before I felt a hand on my shoulder, strong, firm, and reassuring.

“What’s wrong?” Ronan asked before I met his eyes, blue as the sky above.

“Can I talk to you for a moment,” I paused, looking over at my brother as I begged him with my eyes to not intervene, I needed to do this on my own, “Alone.”

“Of course.” Ronan nodded, following me out of the room and out into the hallway. “What were you wanting to discuss?”

“Do you – Do you know why I'm like this? What, well, I was wondering what you were told?

“Well, I was told you killed Kai Waters for no reason.” He replied, jumping from one foot to the other nervously.

“Do you believe I killed him for no reason?” I asked, feeling some anger spark in the pit of my stomach but I tried to reign in my emotions, not only for my sake but for his.

I watched as he looked away, contemplating his answer while I stared at him expectantly, waiting for what he said. “I believe there is always two versions of the same story. I don’t want to believe that you killed him on purpose. I don’t want to believe that the Symari I am meant to be with for the rest of my life is a murderer but I will hear your side of the story if you will let me hear it.”

I nodded, before I took a deep breath making up my mind before I told him everything, “J thought J loved him. I thought he loved me. We had spent the last ten years together, which seems so insignificant now since I have lived for more than four hundred years but, he was my first love. Granted, I had suspected he wasn’t faithful with me but I thought it was just a phase, sometimes couples, they lose their spark and everything isn’t lovely all the time. I just, I never expected that he would really cheat on me and especially not with my baby sister.” My breathing shook as I closed my eyes walking over as I leaned against the wall, falling to the floor as I sat down. Within moments, I felt Ronan next to me before I opened my eyes to look at him, “I haven’t been practicing my magic. I knew I was being careless without practice you could lose control especially if your magic is tied to your emotions as mine is and that’s what I did. I – I lost control. I saw him on Avisa and he even admitted to sleeping with her and I just, I snapped. In that moment I thought I was doing the right thing. The punishment for infidelity is death. But with a fair trial and I didn’t give him a trial I just murdered him. I know what I did was wrong. And I'm terrified I won’t have any control and hurt others.”

Ronan was silent when I stopped speaking, the silence filling the hallway while I leaned my head against the wall. “I understand Sedna, what you did was wrong but I don’t believe you are truly evil. There is still good in you.”

“I’m glad you understand.” I said, relieved, “I'm trying to be better but I fear that with this impending war that I may find my death. And if I do, Ronan, I want to you to be the rightful heir to my kingdom. But if I find that you aren’t trustworthy...” I trailed letting my words and my tone hint at what I meant, he only nodded before I stood with a huff and watched as he stood up and faced me, “I'm glad you listened to me and that you don’t see me as evil. I hope I can be the Symari I once was and I want to prove to you that I am worthy of being your mate.”

Ronan only nodded before cautiously taking my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of it as a tingling sensation shot up my arms from his touch. I felt my breathing quicken as I looked into his eyes unsure of what I should do or what was happening when his other hand reached up and push a fallen strand of hair out of my eyes. And within seconds, his lips crash into mine and as he pressed me against the wall of my castle, I knew there was nothing I wanted more than to be the best version of myself not only for my people but for Ronan Stormborn.