Eat You

Four

Y/n felt their phone buzzing in their pocket. They stood out on Cartman's front lawn, watching Gregory through the windows. "Hello?"
"OH MY GOD Y/N YOU PICKED UP!"
"Um, yes?"
"TH- This is you, right? Like, none of the demons have your phone right now, right? Please say yes." "What? Yes, it's me Clyde."
" DUDE you have NO idea how happy I am to hear your voice– DUDE CRAIG, IT'S Y/N, THEY'RE OKAY! DO YOU HEAR TOKEN AND CRAIG, BRO?"
"Wait, Clyde, stop. Something bad is going to happen and it's my fault."
"What? Wh-Where are you dude?"
"Cartman's house." Y/n could hear Clyde ask Clyde and Craig something.
"We're close by, we'll come get you, okay?"
"That would be great Clyde. I'm going to hang up, okay?" Y/n could hear Craig say, "Wait, Y/n, no-"
Y/n hung up and walked to the wide-open front door. They paled as they finally had the seriousness of the current situation.

Gregory had his hands wrapped around Stan's throat, strangling him. "All these years, hmm?" Gregory was smirking up at Stan, Y/n could hear it in his voice.
"And you thought you'd never have to face the consequences of what you've done... You didn't even call anybody. You didn't even tell a single soul, now did you?"
"hhkh–"
Stan gurgled something as he tried to pull one of Gregory's hands off his throat.
"Shh shh shh... No need to speak. I wouldn't want you to die running your useless mouth. I want you to die feeling everything I have over the last eight years, Stan... I want you to die knowing you're about to lose everything you've ever loved!"
Y/n noticed a knocked over chair by the window, and quietly moved to grab it.
"I want you to die, as simple as that, and I want you to know there's nothing you can do about it! And I'll be laughing and dancing around your lifeless corpse, and your friends will watch, and they'll be let go, and they'll keep on living knowing their best friend was a murderer who never repented for their wrongdoings and you'll be dead knowing ╬ they're alive and well and that they hate you forever and ever and ever and ever and ╬ ever... and ever and ever and ever and ever ╬ and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever ╬ and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever an ╬ d ever and ╬ ╬ ever and ever and ever and ever and ev ╬ er and ever and ever and ev ╬ ╬ er and ╬ ever and e ╬ ╬ ╬ ver and ev ╬ ╬ er and ever and ever ╬ and ever and ╬ eve ╬ r and ever and e ╬ ve ╬ r a ╬ ╬ nd ever a ╬ nd ╬ ever ╬ ╬ ╬ an ╬ ╬ d ever an ╬ ╬ ╬ d e ╬ ver ╬ and ╬ eve ╬ r ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬ ╬╬╬╬╬..."
Y/n held the chair tightly, holding the front two legs. They hesitated for a moment. "You'll die a much more memorable death than I, dear friend. You should at least thank me for that."
Y/n finally snapped out of their moment of hesitation and slammed the chair down on Gregory's head. The chair splintered on impact, and Gregory let go of Stan. Stan started gasping for breath and wheezing. "Oh how impeccable, look at what you've made me do! He's still alive!"
"That was kind of the point."
"Do you even know him?"
"No, not really, but I don't want him to die!"
"He's a murderer!"
"No he isn't!"

Gregory sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his left hand and rubbed the back of his head with his right. "Why would you do that?"
"You were trying to murder Stan!"
"Argh...Listen, you-"
Gregory was cut off by the sound of brakes screeching and something getting hit by something. Everyone in the house turned to stare out the open front door. Tweek was a few feet away from the front of the car, laying on the ground. Thomas was freaking out, cursing and vomiting blood. Token jumped out of the driver's side. "OH! I thought there was a deer in the road so I– Oh god what did I hit?"
"YOU HIT– sHIT FUCK– oh god DAM-HBBLLBUUUGHHHRHGHGH-"
"Dude."
"Dude."
"What the hell is happening out there."
"Is that Token and Clyde?"
"What are those things?"
"Oh ew one of them is puking."
"Oh for the love of..."
"What is happening out there?"
"I think Token just hit some winged freak with his car."
"Of course he did."

Token, Clyde, Craig and Thomas stared at Tweek, who was dazed on the asphalt."Oh– oh... It's that new... guy... demon... Oh no..." Token said.
 "Poor thing... Is he gonna be okay...?"
"Well... he's still moving, I guess. I dunno how much I want him to be moving, though..."
"H-how dID yOU NOT SEE HI-fUCK SHIT– HHGJGFIOOUGUGHHH-"
"Sorry, I saw a deer in the road and Token got scared and swerved! ...Right into... Aw man... I know he was a demon but he was cool..."
"Well what do we... do with him...?"
"I'mmm not... dead... you assholes..."
"That's good. You can tell me what in the hell is going on here, then."
 "Oh no it's you again–"
Y/n walked out onto the front lawn with Kenny, Cartman, Kyle and Stan. They watched as Kenny plucked a plastic flamingo up from the ground and crept up behind Gregory as he told off Tweek. "S-says you! You're not even doing anything right yourself..."
Gregory put his hand on his hip. "I'm sorry, didn't you just get hit by a car? Am I not talking to somebody who just skidded ten feet down the road?"
"Sorry, that was our fault..." Clyde mumbled.
"Shut up. Tweek, you thick headed twat, you really think you can lay there and tell me I'm making mistakes when you–"
Gregory cut himself off as Kenny stuck the plastic flamingo into his head. "Oh god your hair looks so nasty, dude–"
"SON OF A–"

Gregory remained keeled over, pissed off and trying to recover. Tweek, Thomas and Y/n stifled their laughter. As soon as Gregory heard, he looked up. "What... is so damn funny."
"You've got a flamingo stuck in your head..." Tweek said. Y/n snickered into their hand.
"Because YOU DIDN'T WARN ME SOMEONE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME– RRRRRGG–"
Gregory glared at Kenny, Token, Craig and the other guys. "DUDE OPEN THE DOOR."
"I'M TRYING JUST GIVE ME A SECOND–"
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR CAR RUNNING BUT YOU LOCKED THE DOOR???"
"DUDE– I'M DOING MY BEST HERE JUST–"
Token and Craig stopped yelling at each other when Gregory said, "NONE of you are getting off that easily!"
Gregory turned around, some of his ink hands reaching for the guys by the car.
"Holy shit dude–" Kenny said.
"OKAY. DUDE THAT'S MY CAR!"
"ALL I WANTED WAS STAN MARSH."
Gregory stood up, face flushed a dangerous red. "And now you've all made it very, very personal."
Token stammered, "D-dude, my parents are gonna kill me!" as Kenny pulled him away from his locked car.
"Come on Token, let's go!"
"Do you know how expensive that car was?!"
"Now's not the time for big numbers, we gotta go!"
Token, Kenny and the guys ran away quickly. Y/n started to run after them, but Gregory grabbed them by the ankle before they could get too far.

"Well... There they go, I guess... Now everybody's afraid of us!" Tweek said.
"E-even Craig's afraid of me..." Thomas mumbled.
 "Hhg– Is this what you wanted, Gregory?"
"That's it. We're calling her in."
"Agh, what!!! No way, man! They all ran off, there's no way we can–"
"We're going after them, you dope."
"Wh... Oh god, please don't chase them like that. You're so fucking embarrassing...!"