Valley Forge Boarding School

Chapter 8 - Feelings

It was around 9:30 in the morning when we came back to our room. While Prof Washington had been understanding with me, the medical staff had given me quite a chew-out, and I wouldn't have been surprised if my cheeks were still burning red in shame. Alex and I had taken our time showering and getting rid of any dirt, or in my case blood. The hot water felt wonderful, and I had found myself having weak knees under the soothing feeling.

Now, I sat down on my bed with a sound of distress, and let my torso fold down until my head touched my knees. My hair was still wet, and I watched a few drops fall from my bangs onto the floor. "I feel like shit...", I sighed, hearing Alex rummage through his nightstand.

Then he was by my side, his hand in my hair. "You okay?", he whispered, and I shook my head, being way past the point of lying about the way I felt. "My head hurts... badly..."

Of course this wasn't everything that was going on with me, but to be honest I didn't manage to bring up the strength for any more words. My body felt as heavy as rock, and I simply gave in to that feeling. Alex didn't respond, he just gently pulled me back into a seated position and propped a pillow behind my back.

"What are you doing...?", I asked, my voice coming out in a whisper. To me it felt like I was groggy, dazed at best, but in retrospect I was barely conscious, and Alex knew that. Without another word, he grabbed the waterbottle next to his bed, and held it to my mouth. I took a sip, two, three, and he smiled. "There we go."

Giving him a weak smile, I pushed the water bottle away from me. "I have one myself, you know..." "It's empty. It's been empty for days, Laurens." I felt a cold shiver at the realization, and Alex's face had a by now familiar look of empathy.

Empathy, what was I even doing? Letting myself get worse and worse like this, with everyone else giving me pitying glances and worrying about me. I was ashamed to be letting myself go like this, and at the same time I knew that I hadn't made the conscious decision to get sick. Who's empathy was I trying to get? Who was I trying to look weak in front of?

I stared at the redhead in front of me. His curls were falling into his face, which was covered in freckles, and his eyes looked back at me softly, in the light they almost looked purple. I wanted his attention, his care, his love...

The memory of first meeting Alex popped up in my head. It was the first day of school, my father beside me as Professor Washington showed us the school grounds. I locked eyes with Alex when passing by him in the hall, and he waved. At the time I thought he was polite, that we might be friends...

"Jack?", he pulled me from my thoughts, a look of concern on his face. In any other situation, I would assure him that I'd do better and go fill up my bottle, but there wasn't a place for such rational thoughts at the moment.

I leaned forward, my lips colliding with his sooner than I expected, and I quickly realized it was due to him leaning in as well. Having expected him to pull away and get angry, I was relieved that he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist instinctively, and I was glad for him leaning in more.

When we pulled away again, we were both out of breath and flushed. Alex was smiling dorky, and I giggled at the heightened feeling. He joined in, and soon we were holding on to eachother for dear life, giggling like little schoolgirls.

"Are you okay there, do I need to call the hospital?"I turned around to see Lafayette standing in the doorway, severy confused by our hysterical behavior. "We're fine, Laffy, is class over?"

"Yeah, we've got sports in a second, but Washington sent me to check on you." "We're fine!", Alex exclaimed, still trying to hold back giggles. I felt dazed, a dorky smile was permanently plastered onto my face, which Laf seemed to notice as well. "Laurens?"

I snapped out of my staring and smiled at him. "I'm fine." He shrugged and turned around. "Alright, you continue whatever you're doing, I'm heading off to class."

With that, he was gone, and Alex and I looked back at eachother. "You need to sleep", Alexander whispered, and I couldn't help but frown. "What about-"

Before I could finish my sentence, he had given a small push to my chest, and unsteady as I was, I went toppling over into the sheets. He was trying to avoid conversation, I realized, but then discarded the thought, remembering that he did in fact desperately need sleep.

"Fine... will you stay here?", I asked, and he gave me a look of confusion. "Professor Washington told me to stay here anyway, why would I-" "No, here, in bed. I want to cuddle."

He blushed, his entire face going crimson red, it seemed a little odd to me that a simple request would have him flushed like that, but I was too tired to care much.

Alex didn't hesitate for a second, simply lying down beside me and hugging me tightly. "Sure thing, Jacky." I felt my face go red, but didn't mind, instead nuzzling into his chest and closing my eyes. Sleep came easily, it didn't seem like the usual task when I was cuddled up against my best friend, and not even ten minutes later I was out, somewhere in dreamland, or simply the relieving nothingness and darkness that came with sleeping. Either way, I was satisfied.