Heather || HS

Lost

H A R R Y
[ PLAY: Angel by FINNEAS ]

I fucked up. I always fuck up but this time, I fucked up really bad.

I can manage not having my bad, I can manage to lose my talent. I can manage to lose my friends but I could never manage if I lose Dahlia.

and I lost her.

It's been exactly three weeks since the last time I saw her and I am so angry with myself for not having the balls to tell her how much I feel for her, how much I love her so much.

I told Zayn, before he went on a date with Dahlia a few weeks ago that I love Dahlia so much but, I didn't tell him how much. I was giving her away that time. I knew I could never have her so I gave her away to him.

How stupid of me to not know that she might be feeling the same way towards me. I was so caught up with moving on with my feelings towards her and the only reason I didn't tell her because I didn't want to lose her.

But that's exactly the reason why I lost her. I lost her because I couldn't fight for her. I lost her because I couldn't be a man and tell every one how much I love her beyond our friendship. I'm such a fucking idiot for letting this all happen.

That night, Dahlia got disqualified for leaving her station during the competition. It was all my fault. She lost her chance to achieve her dreams right there and then and I lost her because I was coward enough and selfish just like what she said to me.

I eventually told the boys what happened and I know they were angry at me but kept on comforting me and telling me to give her time. Zayn told me he knew all along. Dahlia had confessed everything to him and it made me even more mad that I should've given her the signal that she can tell me anything but instead she couldn't bring herself to tell me.

Souline on the other hand, broke up with me a day after I told her everything. She was hurt and I'm deeply sorry for the mess I've cause her friendship with Dahlia. I didn't only break my old rustic connection with Dahlia but with her long time friend too.

I tried reaching out to Dahlia but she cut off the rope ladder we had built when we were younger where it l lies now at the edge of my room. I tried going up to their front door but her step-father had told me she was not home. I'll do it again asking him every single day but he would only tell me that she's not home still.

I was so confuse why they wouldn't let me know where she was but I figured they have the knowledge about what happened between me and their daughter. I tried asking the boys, and Hallie but they didn't know either. I was so lost. I didn't know where I stand in my life without my Doll.

The only girl that meant so much to me, I had the audacity to make her feel miserable and hurt. How dare me.

If only I could turn back time. If only I could make my mistakes right. If I just kissed her that day. Maybe things were different now.

It was a Saturday evening. Dahlia and I are up for our movie night and all cuddled up underneath her thick duvet as we watch our favorite, 'The last song'.
It sounds cliché but it really is our favorite movie.

Holding her in my arms made me giddy inside. She looks so beautiful and cute when her cheeks were pushed slightly, causing it to red and sometimes even pink. Her lips were always plump. Like if only I could feel hers on mine.