jacket over hoodie over shirt | dreamwastaken

two.

clay wakes to a dim room.

he had been expecting to be blinded, as usual, but no.

blinds now covered his window, shielding his room from the bright sun. he could only guess it was sapnap's doing. he rubs his tired eyes and yawns a little. he wonders what time it was

how long had he been asleep?

he glances to his phone, wanting to check the time, but feels his heart jump as he notices the screen, squinting at its brightness.

(y/n) <3

i know its been a while. and we
havent talked in some time and i just want
to say i hope that youre doing well.
read 11:21 p.m.

i miss you, ill admit. i have for so long.
maybe this is silly. maybe this is wrong.
maybe youve moved on and im stuck.
maybe im insane for still hoping that
youll come back to me even if you said
it was over.
read 11:21 p.m.

am i wrong to hope?
read 11:22 p.m.

sorry, im being silly, arent i?
read 11:22 p.m.

then he realizes.

they all say read.

read.

they've seen his messages.

his sleep-deprived, heartbroken-induced messages from late in the night.

he runs from his room, colliding almost instantly into sapnap. he sees a burst of color, blinking a little. he winces, holding a hand to his nose as sapnap claps his hand to his forehead.

"how thick is your skull, man?"  clay asks almost incredulously.

"your nose hurts!" sapnap huffed, swatting at him out of pure annoyance. he laughed now.

"sure, sure!"

"yeah, whatever... what was i gonna ask?" he questions himself, thinking for a moment.

"i dunno, you tell me."

"oh! do you wanna go to a party tonight? if you can even call it that."

"uh.. sure?"

and that is how clay winds up watching his friends play uno for the tenth time.

skeppy, bad and sapnap are all yelling incoherently at eachother. it seems as if bad is trying to defuse the situation as sapnap flips out on skeppy. george is on facetime, propped up on a half-drank can of coca cola, laughing so hard his face is flushed red. it makes clay laugh a little. how silly his friends are. but however silly, his sadness still lingers.

he stares at a message received a few hours ago. why does it make him so sad..?

--
(y/n) <3

hey im really sorry i blocked
you. it was kind of childish ig?
well uh i just wanted to say that im
sorry for not talking to you. you
were hurt just as much as me and it
was selfish to not consider you. it
was a mutual decision, not as if
we ended on a bad note.
read 4:44 p.m.

and no, youre not being silly.
its only human to miss you. and, in
truth, i.. i miss you too haha.
read 4:45 p.m.

--

he sighs and closes his phone. he notices bad's worried look. his brows jerk up, as if asking if he wants to talk. clay shakes his head.

no. not out here. he doesn't want to cry.

quietly, he lifts himself from the cushions, mumbling something about using the restroom, which is where he heads. he winds up sitting in front of the toilet, his cheek resting up against the lid. he knows it's probably gross, but he can't bring himself to be found crying on the bathroom floor. he'd rather insist he was throwing up or something.

but his friends aren't dumb. they know him too well.

he's pretty sure it's been an hour when someone opens the door, the light from outside pouring in, lighting the dark room. he squints, his eyes not used to the light. he had been sitting in the bathroom in the dark.

"clay," sapnap begins slowly. 

"i was throwing up."

sapnap hums, as if accepting the answer. but they both know it's a lie. neither of them address it, though.

"alright, i'll leave you b-" before sapnap can step out and shut the door, clay finds himself darting to reach his pant leg. he grasps the soft fabric tight, realizing how his hands shake.

"please don't go," his voice is as shaky as his hands are, on the verge of breaking. he swallows, realizing how dry his throat is, "i can't be alone right now. not when... not thinking about them."

sapnap nods a little, sitting down with clay on the floor. he watches him for a moment as his cheek presses into a cool spot before gently rubbing small circles on his back. sapnap isn't sure how to comfort him right now, but he's trying. clay appreciates it.

it's another fifteen or so minutes before they get a call. george.

sapnap picks up with a sigh. "hey-"

"are you guys- um- doing something? bad and skeppy don't want to walk in on something and-"

"no, we're not." clay says, laughing a bit. "we're on the bathroom floor, chilling. i was feeling sick."

apparently all of his friends are mom friends because they all seem to give him that look when they know he's lying. is he that bad of a liar?