jacket over hoodie over shirt | dreamwastaken

four.

a/n: tw in this chapter for hospitals and blood! i dont know if thats all i should put a tw for but lmk if i need to add to it! also keep in mind i have no clue how hospitals work if youre in another state? i think they usually transfer you? idk man but- just roll with it for the sake of the story

this is also moving a little fast, especially in this chapter, which i'm sorry for! i do look forward to the ending, though, which may make you cry, so beware!

--

when you open your eyes, you're alone, sitting in a messy bed. you're convinced you're in a nightmare. it has to be.

but then, he walks in and you think it's a dream. how funny. dream. 

"good morning." his voice is raspy with the remains of sleep, his hair tousled. the dark circles under his eyes are ever-so apparent and he's as lanky as ever. this can't be real, can it?

"morning." you whisper back, taking in his beauty, purely in awe. the curve of his lips, his jaw. the messy waves of hair, pushed back from his face. his green eyes look almost surreal in the light. when he smiles at you, the slight laugh lines make you want to giggle like a child. 

"how did you sleep?" he asks, sitting down at the end of the bed. you notice he sits far away, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"good, but shouldn't i be asking you? it's not as if i've been sleep deprived." which is a blatant lie that neither of you acknowledge. you're at least better off. or it seems so.

"perhaps." he grins. your heart swells. you want to kiss h-

no. you can't.

it's as if he notices the spark of hope inside of you go out because he frowns, reaching out to touch you. you don't flinch away, letting his cold fingertips brush against your arm, still warm with sleep and blankets. you sigh softly and smile halfheartedly.

is it wrong to hope?

--

clay takes you back to your hotel so you can get your things. he tells you to just stay with him and ask for refunds, as long as you're not uncomfortable. you agree a little too hastily, laughing afterward. he smiles at you again and your heart flutters.

"hey, (y/n), do you wanna go skating?" he asks once you're back in the car, now changed into sweats and a hoodie. you notice he smiled a little wider once he sees your comfy outfit.

"of course."

--

your days are spent in laughter with clay and nick, getting snacks from convenience stores and walking around big stores, buying things you guys think look cool. your nights are spent in comfort, rekindling your friendship with clay.

that is if you consider cuddling every night, kissing one another on the cheek, blushing and constant complementing friendship. most, like nick, would say it's a little more.

okay, a little is and understatement.

alongside worrying that this is too much, something else nags at the edge of your mind. something so minuscule it seems ridiculous.

your side hurts a lot now. it's gone from being when you run a little too much to being constant over the past few weeks. it bothers you when you work on editing your videos (now filmed at clay's. he's made several appearances in your streams and videos, which drives the fans absolutely wild.) and it bothers you so much that there begin to be days you spend alone in bed because the pain makes you snappy.

you're growing tired, which you're sure is a side affect of being more active. your breathing doesn't come so easy, which makes you worry a little more.

but you don't tell the boys any more than "just a little tired." even if you know they're worried for you. momnap gives you the look. but you know it's with good intention.

for a while, the pain subsides and you stop worrying. things seem normal in your life practically living with clay and nick. it's perfect.

on an easy night, you and sapnap sit together on the couch, playing jackbox while he streams. chat seems happy to see you and wonder why you're there. you just shrug and say, "i came to say hi."

everything is fine, you're hardly worried until you begin coughing. for a moment, it's hard to catch your breath. you play it off casually, until you see the back of your hand. a spot of red. you frown, swallowing bile that threatens to rise up your throat. it's fine. you're okay.

"you good?" nick asks. you nod and sit back a little, opting to focus on dono questions.

"'where's dream?' oh, he's at his mom's right now, a few hours away."

a few more questions are answered, until one catches your eye.

"'is (y/n) okay?' yeah i'm f-" you're cut off by your own coughing, burying your face in your elbow. when you draw away, you notice red splotches on your sleeve, darker than the rest of the fabric. your heart sinks and your eyes dart to nick as you mouth one word. "hospital."

it clicks in his mind almost instantly. he nods a little and says goodbye to chat, shutting down the stream as you hold your elbow to your face, not wanting to expose the red to thousands of already concerned viewers. 

once stream is shut down, you two don't bother with anything else. all you two do is grab your phones, chargers, nick's keys, and hurry out the door, barely remembering to lock it.

by the time you're to the hospital, you're trending on twitter with the clip from the jackbox stream. you don't have time to fret over it, though, just opting to focus on your health.

you ignore your calls from clay, feeling bad as you tell him 'not now' over text. you hope nick will keep him updated as you're taken into the back for testing.

--

the hours drag by.

tick. tock. tick. tock. tick. tock.

"excuse me, you're (y/n), correct?" the doctor asks you, causing you to look up. you nod. "i have your test results and-"

"if they're bad, can you do me a favor?" the doctor nods. "don't sugarcoat it." the doctor nods once more.

"they don't look good. however, we can transfer you to a hospital near your home. you don't live here, correct?" you nod. "alright, well, i'll help you get set up for the night. we'd like to keep an eye on you. is there anyone you want us to call?"

you shake your head. "can i get my phone? to call my boyfriend?" you don't care what clay is to you anymore. you have to tell him.

the doctor nods and smiles sadly. it's not false sympathy, like doctors are required to use when giving bad news. it's real. you feel a twinge of guilt.

should you really tell clay?

--

"clay?"

"(y/n)? ohmygod-"

"hey, hey, i'm fine. don't worry." a lie.

"are you sure?"

"mhm." another lie.

"thank god." he sighs in relief. you frown to yourself.

"look i can't stay for long-" another lie. "i've got to tell sapnap. he's worried." the truth, this time.

he nods. "alright. i'll be home s-"

"stay there, please. if you want. enjoy yourself." you deserve it, you think.

"alright. i'll see you soon?"

"i'll see you soon."

as you hang up and go to dial nick, you sigh.

you've become a liar.

--

a/n: this is sort of rushed! but i wanted to get a chapter out to you guys! :) i hope you enjoy! please tell me if i should add to the tws!