Golden Blooded

12. Window.

He still remembered the words that Evane had said to him yesterday. After she had said that, Ivan had picked up the both of them and left the room without a word. It had struck him hard- had that been what happened? Yes, it had been- his brother never spoke, and he was aggressive.

His hand rested on the window. It was cold- covered in a thin layer of frost. Outside, the pine trees looked like spikes of ice. There was a pond in the backyard, with a river that seemed to be a waterfall in the spring and summer. Right now, though, it was completely frozen.

It was beautiful.

In Northern Heaven, it was all tundra. There were no trees, no lakes or rivers, and no life. There were mountains, but they were all in the Northwest. If he had been fighting for this, he might have been able to fight harder. This was something loveable, instead of the horrible region he was forced to protect.

He shook his head, before resting it against the metal. His fists shook. He didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted to be back home. He had been born in Heaven Proper- Roderich's territory. That place was a mess of thick jungle. It rained most of the time, until you got to the Capital. That place made his skin prick, even after he had gotten used to it.

Sharp, gray edges. Everything was made of concrete and metal. In the main building, there was gold, and lights, and heat, but everywhere else was odd, in the way that a two-headed snake is odd. But he was raised there. That was technically his home, but he didn't count it as such.

Originally, he had been stationed in the South, with his twin. The place where Hell and Heaven connected- the place where the war started. Then he'd been switched out with Lovino, and Matthew with Feliciano. He'd gotten Nikolai's old territory, and Matthew had gotten Lukas's. They'd both been moved East because they were more focused on academics instead of anything important.

The territory that had been his, and then Lovino's, was beautiful. All oak forest and plains filled with flowers. There wasn't a moment he remembered before the war, but he had been able to have some off moments. Those were some good memories. It also helped that his sister, his dear older sister, lived on the edge of Dark General Gilbert's territory; they had shared a border.

That was his home- not the war, but the little, rare, off moments where he could rest in the fields and run through the woods with his... friends. In the fields he remembered the rabbits and stray cats that would run up to him for food. They weren't afraid of him, and he cherished that.

Those children weren't afraid of him either- or at least, Evane wasn't. Even though he had killed so many people, and ruined so many lives, she still strolled up to him and said things she probably shouldn't to him because she wasn't afraid. Was she just dumb?

He didn't want people to be afraid of him.

Alfred jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, before he relaxed. He felt the front of the man behind him pressing against his back, and felt the press of lips against his neck. He leaned his head, allowing him closer even though he didn't want to have sex. Ivan's arms wrapped around his middle, drawing him against him. His wings relaxed, resting on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Ivan whispered to him. They were the first words he had said to him all day. He pushed himself back into him, since he was warm, and the chill from the window had drawn itself up his arm. Only his fingertips stayed on the glass, before he felt Ivan's hand on his arm.

He placed his cold hand over his heart, feeling it beat. Ivan's hand rested over his own, and he felt a few more kisses under his ear.

"I'm fine," he shut his eyes tightly, clenching his jaw. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be treated like this. He wanted to go home.