heartbreak boy // n.h

prologue

Dear Diary,

It’s been 3 months since I last wrote, but I just need to express my feelings.
Niall is still with Alison, that bitch. It’s now 3 months.

And no, I don’t count. Niall does and he tells me all the time.

“We’re now 1 month, 9 days, 3 hours, 5 minutes and 16 seconds together! Oh, 21 seconds!”
“Congratulate me, Alison and I are 2 months, 5 days and 2 hours together!”
“Happy anniversary, babe, we’re 3 months and 19 days together!”

It makes me sick.

Why can’t he see the bitch she is?! She’s as fake as possible! She’s only using him for the money and the fame!
Even Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn think she’s as fake. I think she’s made of plastic.

Plastic and 3 stores full of make-up. Because that’s what she is: plastic and full of make-up. She’s even faker than Barbie, c’mon!

Niall’s always talking about Alison. In every conversation we have, he ends up talking about Alison. The bestfriend-talks we used to had, are officially over, I think, because all he talks about is Alison.

Okay, maybe she is nice to him. (She acts like a living Barbie, but okay, if Niall thinks that’s “nice”..) And she’s pretty. And she’s wanted by every guy in the whole world. But c’mon, I’m also pretty with 10 litres of make-up on my face! Well, prettier than I am now.

When Niall’s not around, she’s a real bitch!

She made fun of my insecurities, she tried to tell Eleanor that Louis cheated (which is, obviously, not true) and she acts like she’s the Queen.

She also said that she would dump Niall if Harry wants to go out with her and she tried to blackmail Zayn so he wouldn’t tell Niall. (Niall still don’t know.)

Niall don’t know about any of this. He still thinks Alison is a sweet, nice, pretty girl.

I wonder what Niall’s mom thinks of Alison. Alison met Maura, I’m sure as hell.

Niall once told me that his mom’s opinion is the most important one to him. If his mom don’t like his girlfriend, he’d doubt if she’s the one for him.

I’m sure as hell (again) that Alison does her “I’m sweet, nice and pretty” – act when she’s around Maura. I hope Maura will see through it and sees how fake Alison really is. But maybe Maura believes Alison and her act.

And the fans.. (Sorry, the Directioners) I don’t really know what they think, because I’m not that obsessed. (Okay, maybe I am obsessed with what the fans think of Nalison. Yes, Nalison. What a crappy shipname. Even Niall and I would have a better shipname, Noë.)

One half of the fans thinks Alison is a complete bitch and that she’s using Niall for money and fame. I think exactly the same. They hate Nalison.

But the other half thinks Alison and Niall make a great couple and that Alison is sweet, nice, caring, pretty and stuff. I really don’t get those fans, they must see it’s fake?!

Maybe they are the kind of fans that are like: if they’re happy, we are. I would’ve been the same, but come on! Alison is as fake as possible!

//

If you were wondering why I want Alison to get the fuck out of Niall’s life, I’m just being his best friend. (Yes, I want her to get the fuck out of his life.)

Niall was my best friend when no one wanted to and he always was there for me. Always. Even when I was a huge bitch and even when I was the depressed girl in town, he was there for me.

And I think it’s now my time to be a good best friend. I have to be the friend he needs right now.

The problem is, I don’t know how to be the friend he needs right now.

If I tell him that Alison is a bitch and that he has to break up with her, he’ll hate me. And best friends don’t hate each other.

What do I have to do?! How can I be a good friend?

I just want the best for Niall. He deserves the best, because he’s the best.

Niall’s so sweet, nice, caring and spoiling for his girlfriend. I want him to have a girlfriend who is the same to him. I don’t want him to get hurt.

I don’t want Niall being heartbroken, and I know that’s going to happen in the end. Alison will break up with him and he’ll be sad and broken. And I don’t know how to fix that.

But if I tell him who Alison really is, he will be broken and sad as well..

So what do I have to do? If you look at it this way, he’s going to be broken and sad anyways.

But when is he going to be the least broken and sad? I need to take a decision, should I tell him or not?

I think we want people to be happy, because we are not. Because we care too much about them and don’t want them to feel the same. We don’t want them to feel worthless, sad, broken. We want them to be happy, so one of us is happy.

I don’t want Niall to feel the way I feel. I don’t want him to lie about how he feels. I don’t want him to feel useless. I don’t want him to feel empty and worthless. I don’t want him to cry. I don’t want him to feel sad and broken. I don’t want him to feel that way.

He needs to be happy. He deserves to.

I think I wrote it at least a hundred times down, that he deserves to be happy. But that’s because he really deserves it. Niall is the most caring, sweet and nice person I know. He lets people feel wanted, happy and he gives people a reason to live. I want him to feel the same; to feel wanted, to feel happy.

//

By the way, I’m NOT in love with Niall! I’m just being his best friend. I just want him to be happy, because he deserves it.

I’m not in love with him, he’s my best friend! That would be weird, wouldn’t it?

And even if I liked him, he doesn’t love me. If he’d love me, he wouldn’t be with Alison right now.

//

I really hope this Alison-thing will be over soon and Niall and I can back to our “best-friend-life” again. And our conversations will be the same as they used to be; about nothing, about everything. Just not about Alison and how amazing/sweet/nice/pretty and everything she is.

Maybe I need to talk to Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn and maybe we can find a solution.

I haven’t decided yet what’s the best: tell Niall about the real Alison or let him be happy for now. I think I’m going to talk to the boys first, and then we will decide what’s the best for Niall.

Love always,

Zoë

P.S. Okay, maybe I do love Niall..

//

[a/n: Hey, a new story online! This one is, as you've already read in English. I'm dutch, so please don’t judge me if my English isn’t always correct. This is the first story I’ve ever written in English. So we’ll see. I hope you liked it! Please vote/comment/share, it means a lot to me! Bye x]