Satiré

Chapter 1: Genesis

"Girl... you seriously need to get laid" Jazmine my closest friend since preschool stated, as if It was long overdue.
"I don't know why you would willingly deny yourself constantly of sheer euphoria" my other friend Ellison added.
"I mean It's not that I don't want to, I just haven't met the...right person" I attempted to explain in my own defense
"Girl give it up....you need to come out of this schizoid you live in where the 'perfect guy' exists" Erica, my other friend of the quintet chimed in.
"It's true Olivia, there is no such thing as a perfect guy, it's all an illusion...a lie told by every parent to keep your mind locked up and 'protect you' from the real world" Jazmine added with air quotes
"You can't go on like this pookie, you need to live a little" she continued.
"Guys...relax I'm only just clocking twenty" I tried again
"Which is precisely the point...you're twenty and you're still a virgin...Look around Liv, that's not normal" Ellison said straightforwardly, that was the thing about Elly, she tended to say just what she had in mind without a care in the world of how the person may feel, she was utterly unapologetic but that didn't make things any better for me in this current situation as I was almost reaching the climax of frustration with my friends.
"What?! it's perfectly normal you guys need to stop" I say feeling a bit offended now.
"Okay then just answer this, When was the last time you felt a real connection with a boy?" Erica asked, concern lacing her tone. She can't be serious right now.
"Can't feel a connection when she wouldn't so much as look in the same direction as one" Elly said and I glared at her. If only looks could kill.
"Seriously Liv, You have Jamal...one of the hottest guys in AU...who'd kill.." Mina added emphasizing the word 'kill' while rolling her eyes dramatically "..and I mean kill to have you in his bed AND he's racked up"
"He's not..we barely even know each other" I stuttered pathetically trying to refute her outrageous claims.
"Even better Olivia, where's your sense of mystery?" She retorted with an endearing grin making me grimace.
"Nah I'm with Olivia on this one, something about Jamal is really off..I don't know what it is but I don't trust him" Jazmine said finally coming to my aid.
"Not you too Jaz" said Erica
"Yea Jaz not helping!" Elly added irritatedly.
"Okay okay guys please I get it, I promise to go out more, okay? Just not today...can we just I don't know...have fun? It's my birthday you guys this is the last thing I want to be talking about right now" I intervened pleadingly
"Okay okay...we get it, let's just go"
"Hey I haven't agreed to that yet" I said, reminding me of the reason they were all here in the first place, my friends showed up to my dorm all glammed up and trying to convince me to go to a night club to celebrate turning twenty. I was completely and utterly against it, I mean there couldn't possibly be a worse idea, not that there's anything wrong with clubs but they just weren't my kind of scene, I'd have preferred for us to have a sleepover at my place, since I managed to score a dorm with no roommate, and like we usually do, binge watch some new HBO series, pillow fight, try out famous rap snacks, talk about everything and anything instead of going to a club with obnoxiously loud music, sweaty and drunk people, childish games and perverted young men, and let's not forget the fact that a fight would probably break out before dawn...I just didn't get it, what the thrill was all about, every fiber of my being protested against this idea. This was not how I wanted to spend the remainder of my birthday. But at last, I succumbed to pressure from my friends.
"Alright fine, but we're leaving at any sight of violence" I said, The girls beamed in response, you can tell that they felt accomplished.
"Aye aye captain" Ellison responded with mock salute making the others laugh.
"I'm serious guys...promise me" I deadpanned
"Alright alright we promise...jeez it's only a club Olivia..it's not the nazis" Elly said.
I rolled my eyes and gave them a nervous smile. Maybe this wouldn't turn out so horribly, I mean these girls have been my friends for as long as I have been in college and this is already my second year, what's the worst that could happen? Jeez maybe I really do need to loosen up a bit.

"Aright girls let's get ready" Jazmine clapped her hand excitedly. Her enthusiasm as contagious as ever, it did a lot to ease my frantic mind, I guess that's something I've always loved about Jaz, she had that personality that just shined through, she could brighten up the darkest of rooms with a smile only, and wherever she graced her presence with was always a place full of life. It was a miracle we ended up in the same university, okay that was cap we planned it out every step of the way. I smiled at her reflexively, and as if on cue, she shifted her gaze in my direction and also graced me with one of those smiles she would normally give me when she was silently trying to reassure me that everything would be okay and that no matter what, she would always have my back. And just like that it felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and suddenly all my worries dissipated.