Sinner and Saint

Chapter Twenty

"Do you have a change of clothes with you?" I blurted out as we approached city limits.

Stellan threw me a quick, puzzled glance. "Yes, in my bag. Just boxers, jeans and a shirt. Why?"

I took a deep breath and surged on before I could think better of it. "Carmela has thrown a small birthday dinner for me in the last couple years. She's hosting one at her condo tonight—Sid and Jamie will be there. Maybe a couple guys from the crew and their girlfriends, depending on who can make it. I was going to go home, clean up and grab a party platter or something like it to take with me because the guys eat like horses so you can never have too much food. I was wondering if you'd like to join us."

Stellan turned to me fully but didn't say anything for what felt like an entire minute that I had to glance at him, hesitant. "Wanna go? That is, if you don't have any plans tonight."

"I would love to if you're comfortable with it," he answered so simply it didn't feel fair that I just rambled everything out before this.

"Of course, if Lily was in town, she would've been welcome, too," I added lamely, only realizing a second later that we both knew that wasn't totally true.

This is why being too big a part of each other's lives is not sustainable. You can't lie forever.

He smirked and shrugged. "Yeah. Let's go."

About half an hour later, we parked at my underground stall and made our way up to my unit.

I knew there was a risk of getting snapped together today but chances were low considering the kind of places we'd hit up. My condo had a little more traffic but it was a pretty average building that it was unlikely some pap would be creeping around the parkade. Nosy neighbors might be a different story—and Stellan and I did make quite a memorable-looking couple with our physical differences which was why we avoided public outings before—but we looked so disheveled and gritty, I wasn't worried anyone would look twice at us.

"You can shower if you want," I told him as I started putting away any leftover snacks from my cooler. "Between the sunscreen, the sand and the diner grease, you can probably use one."

Stellan grinned and sniffed his shirt. "That bad?"

"You never smell bad to me but you know what I mean," I told him before grabbing a couple of fresh towels from the linen closet.

"You never smell bad to me either," Stellan said solemnly as he grabbed his bag and followed me to the bathroom where I'd started rummaging through one of the vanity drawers. "There are studies that put a lot of stock on pheromones—"

I held up a freshly packaged toothbrush to stop him. "Let's not talk pheromones or the things they're often associated with. Please."

Stellan just sighed and grabbed the toothbrush from me.

As if on fire from the quick mental image of water sluicing down his naked, perfect body, I rushed out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

Obviously, I did this to myself when I invited him over but it felt wrong not to considering the length he'd gone to so I could attend his birthday party. I've won back my self-control in the last two years—I should be able to survive being alone with Stellan in close quarters for at least the next couple of hours.

While he was showering, I called up a local cheese shop to order one of their large charcuterie kits. Carmela already had a pretty large board I'd made for her by hand. I just needed the dozen or so items to go on it. The guys sometimes say it's too fancy but they could sweep down on that thing in minutes and lick the board clean.