uplifting || behzinga

9

i sat on the end of my bed, face timing my best friend from back home in newcastle, chatting up in any news we had for each other, but also planning what we were gonna do in the upcoming weekend when i was coming to see her for the first time in over a year. not seeing her made me feel empty at times, she had been my best friend since year seven, only person i ever fully trusted. moving to london in late 2018 without my childhood best friend, but two other very good friends of mine, put mine and meg's friendship on the rocks. she fell extremely jealous of how close i had became with the two girls. she almost felt as if i was leaving her out, but i wasn't, i had been offered by an online friend of mine, now better know as evie, an offer i simply had to except; moving into a flat with her and her best mate, alisa. they were both from near london already so it wasn't nearly as big of a deal as it was for me. however, megan didn't believe it and became so negative towards me, telling me it's just a dream, not real and calling me stupid. now, three years down the line, i'm living in my second flat with them, best friends with them. but not only that, i have my dream job and a friend group of best friends that i simply couldn't even wish for.

i looked up at the time remembering i had a video to be posted at five, "right meg, i'm gonna go now, i'll text you." i grinned at the screen, as she waved and ended the call. i plopped myself between all my pillows making myself comfortable before finishing off the edit on the video to be posted in less than an hours time.

i smiled, pressing upload and being taken to a loading page. patiently waiting to post my instagram story about the video. 'complete' popped up on my mac screen and i instantly uploaded the story, 'go check out my new video' with a swipe up link to watch it.

instantly i felt myself feeling stressless knowing i wont have to worry about a video for at least another two days, but instead worry about brand deals on instagram and replying to emails from my manager, so she knows what brands i would like to work with.

seeing as i was free all night i decided to start tomorrow's work, starting with editing a photo i had taken for a brand deal with '@missysports' on instagram. i did nothing drastic, just brightened it up a bit, took out a few imperfections from the background along with smoothing my face to make my makeup look less textured.

i finally saved the photo, after getting abit carried away. the time was half seven and i found myself looking through the response on my new video. i had always found myself mainly reading the bad comments, without the ability to blank them out. i think it was harder before, i was on the verge of an eating disorder, i would be called things like 'twig', 'skinny legs' and 'chicken bones'. but i soon went through a journey, along with my best friend ethan, who was already half the way through his weight loss journey.

i soon found myself sitting in the living room sipping my hot chocolate when evie emerged from her room, "you alright?" she smiled at me as she approached the couch. i nodded.

"yeah, you?" i grinned at her.

she plopped herself beside me, "yeah, i'm okay." she gave me a nod. "you been out today, i've not seen you today?"

"nah, just been in my room." i laughed, "is alisa in?"

"nah, she's gone to josh's." evie rolled her eyes, "she's always with him."

laugninh i said, "they are cute though, you know it's so nice to see someone making her happy." a smile formed on my face.

"yeah, same to be fair. i'm surprised they still haven't put any labels." evie played with her split ends.

"yeah, it's been like four month?" i shrugged, "i think she's holding back to be fair, anyways not our place to talk about this, is it?" she shook her head, laughing. "any love life for you at the mo?" i smiled at her.

"god, no." she shouted, "you however, been spending alot of time with eth?" she bit her lip, giving me the eyes.

"oh my god, no evie!" i shouted out of disgust, "he is my best friend."

"ok, ok." she giggled, scrolling through the movies on netflix, "what do you wanna watch?" she smiled.

"that?" i pointed at something that looked interesting and she turned it on.

evie ended up falling asleep half way through the movie, after the movie finished i made my way to my bathroom, brushed my teeth and used the toilet before heading to my room, i put my pyjamas on and sat up in my bed, scrolling through instagram.

i heard the door slam then soon chatters from the living room, looking at the time, half eleven. i emerged from my room in the living room, rubbing my eyes to the sight of alisa, ethan, cal, harry and chip obviously drunk, evie had clearly headed to bed avoiding the chaos.

"what the fuck?" i muttered under my breath.

"oi flora, you alright?" cal shouted.

"fuck sake cal." i mumbled, i didn't want them to see me. "i was fine till now." i smirked at him.

"oh shut up, come, have a drink with us." cal patted the space beside him.

"no, i'm fine honestly, i'm just gonna go back to bed." i smiled.

ethan sighed, "just sit with us for a bit."

"fine." i muttered walking over to sit beside cal, getting a strong whiff of alcohol.

they were all chatting, i didn't really engage myself into anything, with cal very clearly noticed this because he pulled me into his embrace.

"can you not?" i pushed him away with a disgusted look.

i stormed off to my room, slamming the door behind me going straight to sleep, it wasn't him pulling me into his embrace that annoyed me, it was that fact my flat reeked of alcohol, they reeked of alcohol and all i wanted was to go to bed, but i felt forced to stay and talk to them.

~

the next morning i got up quite early, i was meant to go out for a run with ethan but after last night i was unsure if he would be come, so i decided to message him.

eth

you coming today x

yeah, ill meet you outside yours in thirty x

yeah, see you then x

i got out of bed and immediately put a pair of joggers and a hoodie on before throwing my hair into a knot bun.

i filled my bottle up and picked up a protein bar, munching it down.

a/n

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