Untitled Fears

11

(3 weeks after kicking Kito out.)

I regret kicking out my boyfriend, I admit. But seeing what image of him with Mara still haunts me and it's starting to affecting my dreams as well. Olivia still isn't back from her mission, the investigation is closed now as Mara, my mother, and father all face the death sentence, Mara's family paid me $500,000 to keep the family out of the papers and just say it was Mara, I picked up a knife and cut my skin again. Old habits die hard and Kito was really the only thing keeping from taking back up the hobby. With him gone, I needed something to fill that void and cutting was the best substitute. I almost killed myself but I didn't. I kept seeing Kito and Olivia every time I put the blade up to my neck or chest. They've been through so much for me and for me to go and end it all would just be a waste. So here I am, packing boxes to move to my new house. I'm leaving because I really don't like remembering every event that happened here that either led to a hospital visit or heartbreak. No Kito, no Olivia, just Fury and me. My phone rang from the living room and when I saw who it was I just ignored it. It rang until it stopped and then I picked it up out of spite. 

"You made your choice, what the hell do you need from me?" I asked him only to get ragged, pained breathing I return. 

"I need doctor Ryan," Kito replied over the phone. He groaned and I actually got worried. "I know you hate me to the bone but I really don't want to die when I'm like a few blocks away from your house. 

"Kito, where exactly are you?" I asked concerned. "And what happened? Why does it sound like you're in pain?"

"I got stabbed Ryan," he said. "I got stabbed and it hurts like all hell. I'm two blocks to the left when you walk out the door. I should probably call an ambulance but they wouldn't get here fast enough. And it's so late, no one's around."

"You idiot, what are you doing by my house so late?" I asked, rushing to get my shoes on. It was warm out but I grabbed a towel to be able to stop the bleeding. 

"I wanted to try and apologize," he replied, his breathing was getting shallower. "I know that I hurt you and you needed time to digest but I was getting worried about you."

"Well, guess what, now I'm the one who has to worry," I said, running out the door, Fury following close behind. "Kito, keep talking to me where did you go for the past three weeks? What'd you do?"

"I went back to my parent's house and after seeing what happened to you on the TV, they said I could stay temporarily," he said. "I caught up with my brother, finally, because I was so afraid to see him after all these years and when I talked to him I felt better. It's nowhere near what you and Olivia have but it's a start."

I turned a corner and Kito was leaning against a building looking up at me hopefully while a blade stuck out of his lower abdomen. Fury went over and licked his hand while I wrapped the towel around it hurriedly to stop the bleeding. 

"What were you thinking coming here at night?" I asked, trying to get him on his feet so that I could patch him up in my apartment. 

"I knew you wouldn't stay much longer in the house so I was worried that if not tonight, I might not see you again," he replied, wobbling as he stood up but supporting himself on my and Fury pushed him upwards whenever he tilted slightly. "I came out to clear my head but I wandered away from home and here and by the time I realized it, hours had passed."

I got him into the house and onto the couch and found another towel and a first aid kit. I balled up the second towel while pulling away the first to put under him and soak up running blood. 

"Kito, you should know better than to wander into this neighborhood," I said. "I know you were worried about me but that doesn't mean you have to get revenge by making me worry about you. Here, bite this. I don't need you waking up the whole block."

"Ryan, I hope you know the I love you," he said. "So, please, don't let me die."

"When I stop being angry at you, I'll say it back but for right now bite," I said. "Because pulling this out and putting on the antibiotic is going to hurt."

Kito bit the towel and I took his hand as I pulled out the blade and rushed to stop the bleeding. The blade was sharp but not too long in the sense where it wouldn't have ruptured anything important. Kito looked in so much pain and I ran my thumb over his hand to soothe him. As the bleeding finally came to a halt, I hated the fact that it wasn't over for him just yet. I took out a cotton ball and an antibiotic. 

"Kito, this is gonna burn. It's gonna burn and hurt but I have to make sure this doesn't get infected. Just, be strong for me a little bit longer, ok?"

I took a pair of tweezers and gently dabbed the cotton ball to the wound and I could hear his screams through the towel. I quickly tried to finish this to end his pain and just get to the stitching because I could do that relatively quickly. When I finally pulled the cotton away, I could visually see Kito relax as I pulled the towel from his mouth. 

"I'll patch you up and then you can crash here. I haven't taken the sheets off my bed yet so I'll sleep there for another night."

"You really are leaving, huh?" Kito questioned and I nodded. "Can I at least know where?"

"A complex closer to the hospital," I replied, getting my needle, needle holder, and sutures. "I'll send you the address later but I don't think you'll be needing it. Since you're coming with me."

"Excuse me?" he questioned. 

"I can't be alone without making bad decisions and neither can you," I said and he laughed a bit while nodding his head. 

"Wait, what did you do?" he asked. I rolled up my sleeves to show him the bandages around my wrist arm going up my arm. Then I got to work on his stitches. "I guess we both need a bit of rationality in our lives, huh.

"You were the only thing keeping me from killing myself Kito," I said. "I kept thinking about how much you sacrificed for me and every time I saw your face when I closed my eyes, I couldn't do it. Seeing you hurt has been the hardest part of these past three weeks."

"I'm so sorry, Ryan," he said. With the arm that was on the right side of the couch, he ran his thumb under my eyes and brushed away the tears that were settling there. "I won't go anywhere and I don't care if you literally tried to throw me to the curb, I won't let you suffer alone anymore."

I finished stitching him while trying not to cry and he sat up and pat the seat beside him. As much as I wanted to tell him to get some rest, I sat beside him and laid my head in his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and I enjoyed the peacefulness of the quiet. Kito rolled me onto my back as he pulled my arms to see the new scars under the bandages. He kissed each one lovingly and I hummed in content as he did.

"You know you're never gonna get to lock the bathroom door again, right?" Kai clarified. "If you go shower, I'll wait outside or I'll go with you but I'm not letting you hurt yourself anymore."

"Well then you're not allowed to make stupid decisions anymore," I replied.

"Consider it done, my love," he said.

"I missed you calling me that," I said. I reached my head up and kissed my love with passion and intimacy that I've missed with him gone. "No more leaving, no more time apart. We need each other and I think I'm gonna go crazy if I can't have this happy ending to this chapter on our lives."

"I'd say the same thing, mi Amor," he replied, placing his head to mine. "I wouldn't have it any other way either."