From the Outside Looking In

“Yes, Ms. Belov, she is absolutely out of control! Please pick her up soon. We don’t know what’s wrong!” The worried para on the phone was telling me. I was at home, lazing around and drinking my coffee when I got the call. I was so surprised! Halyn almost never acted like this, especially at school. What could have caused her to suddenly have a major outburst? Jingling the keys around in my pocket, I answered, “Yes, I will be there in few minutes. I don’t know what has gotten into her!”

Rushing into the car, I got to Arden Middle School in record time. As I approached the LIFT room, I heard an extremely high pitched scream that could only belong to my daughter. I opened the door and walked in, looking around, wondering where Halyn was. I turned a corner to the sensory room, that was dark and had a vibrating cushion. She was curled up into a tight ball on the cushion, her eyes looking like a deer lost in a forest, helpless and frantic. I could immediately tell that this was not a normal tantrum. Something was wrong. Apologizing to her paras, I quickly took her home.

She cried and screamed the entire time. Gently pulling her into the house, I set her on my lap on our chocolate brown sofa. I examined her face, checking to see if she was hurt. No, that wasn’t what was wrong. I decided to go change her clothes since they were her nice clothes and she was staying at home the rest of the day. Slipping her shirt off, my eyes were drawn to a small blue mark on her shoulder. Oh, no. Already? She was thirteen, but I wasn’t ready for this. I never met or interacted with an autistic werewolf! I was completely in the dark. But at least now I know what is wrong.

I remember the days leading up to my transformation. I was always so tired, and I had felt so miserable. My arms and legs had felt like lead, my head hurting like there was a sledgehammer in there. My mother had kept me home from school, her wolf inside not letting her go far away from me. She was so protective. Now, finally, I felt Dakota stir within me. She was waking up, realizing that she needed to be alert for her “daughter”(Halyn’s wolf). I led my daughter, who had now subsided to sobbing loudly, to her blue bed. I tucked her in and slid in beside her. I ran my hand over her forehead, whispering to her, “ Hang in there, musketeer. It’ll be over soon. I know how much it hurts.”

Suddenly, about five hours later, my phone rang. I answered to a very upset Rylee.

“Mom, where are you?! You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago! It’s early dismissal, remember? The only people still here is Liza and me.” Liza was her absolute best friend. I swear, they were joined together by the hip.

I answered, “Do you think you could go over and spend the night? I know you want to. Halyn came home early from school sick, and I totally forgot. I’m sorry.” Rylee’s tone completely transitioned from angry to elated.

“Yes! Thank you Mom! Hope Halyn feels better.”

I hung up. I felt so guilty for forgetting about Rylee. How in the world did I forget about my other daughter?  It must have been Dakota, being the overprotective wolf she is. But I decided to look at the bright side. As soon as Halyn transformed, I’d finally be able to run with her. I had a feeling Rylee would be a little envious...

I stayed up all night with Halyn, occasionally pulling down the left sleeve of her pajamas to check on her mark. Each time I checked it, the purple mark had increased about half a centimeter. The bigger it got, the sooner she would transform. If I was correct, she would change in about three hours. I continuously looked at the clock, hoping to get the transformation over with it. My eyes kept drooping. I constantly kept jerking them open. I could notfall asleep now. If I did, I might miss her transformation, or something would go horribly wrong, or...

My eyes opened. I groggily turned to face the clock. 4:00 in the morning. I fell asleep at about midnight, I thought. Uh, oh. It had been more than three hours. I groped at the left side of the bed, feeling around for my daughter.

“Halyn!” I yelled when all my hand felt were the empty bed covers.

I blindly stumbled out of the bed, feeling for the light switch. I sprinted down the stairs calling her over and over again to no avail. Where could she be? I reprimanded myself for not somehow staying awake. It was my job to make sure Halyn was safe.

Just as I ran into the dining room, I heard a piercing scream. It seemed to have come from the backyard. I threw open the back door and bolted out into the darkness, the moon’s light shining on a spruce tree that Halyn loved to draw under when it was summer. Where was she? I heard a cry coming from my left. Turning, I gasped. Halyn was writhing on the floor by a bush. White fur had sprouted all over her face and arms. She was on all fours, but something wasn’t right. Where was the hair on the rest of her body? And why in the world was her fur white? None of the werewolves from the pack had white fur, and neither did I. I ran over to her. She looked so lost and helpless. I could understand the pain she was going through. After all, I went through the same unbearable pain once, too. I whispered words of comfort into her ears, helping her through this. She groaned and rolled on the ground, as if she was trying to rub away her agony on the soft ground. I heard a rustling and saw that fur finally covered the rest of her body. Her face morphed into one of a rather sweet, innocent looking wolf. Halyn was completely transformed.