That expression that people say, "Life is full of surprises". It's bullshit. Nothing was truly surprising about what was going on here. How can you be surprised that person betrayed you when they showed all along they didn't really have your back in...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Secrets. So many fucking secrets. They were consuming my life and I had no way out. One secret after the next. I don't think anyone truly knew anything anymore. They just knew what we wanted them to. That's just how it is. How it's always been. How it will always be. So many secrets.
I had too many to count and it felt like I had a new one every week.
"I'll come visit soon mom. I promise." I speak into the phone as I sit in my car in the parking lot of the club I work at. Staring at the purple sign on top of the building that read out the name of the club. 'Vixen'.
"You're gonna work yourself to death Eva." My moms comforting voice radiated throughout the small space of my car. My heart ached and I missed home a little more each time we spoke.
"I'm just trying to build the life I've always wanted, mama. I've worked too hard to take a break now." I let out a huff. Making sure to not be so loud that she could hear my slight frustration.
"I just want my daughter to be happy. I better be seeing you on that front porch soon. I love you honey." She said in a playful tone even though I knew there was a layer of seriousness behind it.
"I love you too mom." The line went dead moments later. My hands made their way to my forehead as my head fell onto the handle of the steering wheel. Will I really go back home soon?
Every time I tried to leave shit would hit the fan and I'd have to change plans. The timing was never right even when it felt like it. Leaving for a week meant risking a paycheck, the possibility of my regulars moving on. It just couldn't do it.
She couldn't come see me either. I just had too many secrets and the clashing of these two worlds would mean chaos.
Before I could allow myself to dwell on my feelings any longer I turned off my car and quickly exited it. Locking the doors as I walked away. I don't even know why I'm here for fucks sake. It's my one day off this week.
Everyone's busy. Zayn was busy. My apartment just felt so lonely. I couldn't stand it so I left.
The worst part about all these secrets is that she wouldn't even be that upset about some of them. Who cares if I'm an escort when you know how much money I make in a week? It's everything else that came with working at Vixen that I could never dare disclose. It's who I've become, what I've done, that's what I needed to stay hidden. Packed up in a tiny purple box and buried six feet under.
I entered the building through the side entrance, going directly through the back to the dressing room. My backpack slung across my shoulder. Large sunglasses covered my eyes. I showed up to the club in my pajamas, which wasn't really anything new. My black sweatpants, or maybe they were Zayn's, hung low on my hips. Exposing a small shred of skin due to my cropped tank top not covering me fully.
