Numb- Larry Stylinson

Chapter 1

Hello, I am Harry Edward Styles, and this is my story.

Relief. That's what I feel when I drag the blade across my pale arm.
I glide it across my wrist with pressure. Maybe a little bit to much pressure. It doesn't stop bleeding. I wish I could just bleed out on the floor, but no. We have a concert today. I begin to panic, because the blood wont stop, so I grab a full arm bandage. Hopefully that will make the bleeding stop.

I start to think: Eleanor will be waiting backstage for Louis, Sophia for Liam, Perrie for Zayn and some girl Niall met when he was younger and they've been best friends ever since then. And guess who's waiting for me? No one. Because I'm a loner, a worthless faggot that doesn't deserve to live. At least that's what the fans and Louis say.

I believe it though. I am a faggot, I'm in love with Louis for gods sake! That isn't normal! and because I'm a fag, I'm a worthless loner. Not to mention I'm a fat pig. Louis has said so himself. Yes, I know what you are thinking: Why do you love someone who bullies you and calls you names? Well the answer is I don't know.

//concert//

"Hey mate, we're on in 20! You okay?" Liam says, after 10 minutes of watching Louis and Eleanor flirt and make out. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night" I mumble. "Okay...Lou said she needs you by the way! Something about wanting to braid your hair...? I don't know. You also need to change clothes because you can't go on stage in sweats!" Liam babbles on, while I just nod, signaling that i know what he said.

I walk towards the dressing area and put on a greenish gray colored sweatshirt that says 'Obsession' on the front, and black skinny jeans. As I walk to Lou, She says " Alrighty Harry, I wanted to braid your hair if that's okay? Just on on each side and then a bun in the middle for the hair that wont go into the braid" I just nod. You see, I don't talk much anymore. Louis said that no one wants to hear my voice because I sound like a dying cat. He says that's the reason I don't have as many solo's in the album.

"Okay Harry! You're done! You look great by the way. Now go, I think your on in 5!" Lou says, somewhat excited. I smile to say thanks. "ALRIGHT BOYS IT'S TIME TO GO ON! LOUIS STOP MAKING OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Paul yells. I mentally thank him. Paul is kind of like our dad when on tour, and we all love him to death, he's pretty cool. But he only cares for the other lads, not me.

The entry video is starting to play so me and the lads all run to get into place where we will walk onto the stage. Right before we're about to go on stage, Louis whispers into my ear saying "Okay faggot? You look like you've been crying" I just pretend I don't hear him, which wasn't a good idea because he grabs the arm that I just cut really deep on and says "Don't ignore me you fat, ugly, worthless piece of shit!" To my fortune, we have to go on stage, which probably just saved my life.

The starting music of Midnight Memories starts to play and we walk out and the fans start to scream. The music then stops for a second and then resumes and I sing "Straight off the plain to a new hotel" pause. "Just touched down you could never tell. Big house party with a crowded kitchen. People talk shh, but we don't listen" Not many fans scream during my part. Why would they? I am a rubbish singer, But when Louis' solo comes on, the whole stadium erupts in loud screams that could burst your ear drums if not for the ear plugs we have.

"Tell me that I'm wrong but I do what I please. Way to many people in the Addison Lee. Now I'm at the age when I know what I need oh whoa" Louis sings. He sounds perfect, voice flawless, and flows perfectly with the music while mine sounds scratchy and terrible.

//Time skip to right before concert ends//

"It was amazing playing for you Dallas, Texas!" Niall states as we are about to walk off stage. "HARRY YOU FAT UGLY FAGGOT! WHY DON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF? NO ONE WANTS YOU IN THE BAND IT WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!" A 'fan' yells right as I walk past her. I stop dead in my tracks and look at her. Some of the girls next to her nod their heads and agree, others ignore her. Even though she probably wont hear me because I don't have a microphone anymore, I say "Soon"