Ironhide breathed a sigh, and I felt his chest fall beneath my head. His hand was rubbing gently up and down my back. We lay in silence and he was trying desperately to keep me calm. My nerves were fried-but 'Hide could calm me. Though I was on the verge of freaking out again, 'Hide was keeping my panic suffocated.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked Ironhide. Another sigh left his body.
"Only if you are," he responded.
"I...I am. I am, 'Hide. We need to try to do this, okay? Are you with me?" I asked.
"Always, Ramona," he assured me. I nodded against his chest.
"I love you," I said.
"I love you, too, Sweetspark," he promised, "I love you, too."
"Ratchet says it might be possible...right? He said it's developing like a human fetus?" I asked once again, though I'd heard Ratchet say it himself plenty of times. I'd made him say it probably a dozen times over. It might be possible. It might work. But I needed reassured again.
"He said it might be possible," Ironhide confirmed what I knew. So I nodded against his chest.
"Do...do you think I'll be a good mom, 'Hide?" I asked, timidly.
"What?" he asked, lifting his head to look at me, "Of course I do. I think you'll make a wonderful mother."
"You'll be a great Daddy," I mumbled, my words muffled by his synthetic flesh. He kept rubbing my back soothingly, "You can kinda feel it, you know? The baby bump?" I said, "It's getting firm. Taking shape." He was silent and his hand stopped moving along my back.
"It is?" he asked. I nodded. I closed my eyes. Torch was barking at something out in the yard, and probably digging up the lawn. It had been almost three months since Ratchet had noticed a hormonal change in me. We'd had this conversation a dozen times already.
"Do you want to feel?" I asked. There was a brief pause before he answered.
"Yes, I do," he said. I rolled away from him and onto my back, and guided his hand to my lower abdomen, pressing down on it with both of mine.
"Do you feel how it's harder?" I asked.
"Yes," he said, very quietly and I almost missed it.
"That's where the baby is," I said.
"That's it?" he asked.
"That's it," I confirmed.
"It's so..." he paused and I heard his breath catch, "Small."
"It'll only be the size of a loaf of bread when it's born," I told him.
"That's all?" he asked, his voice breathy and quiet.
"That's all." We were both silent for a few moments.
"What if I...what if I...break it?" he asked. I could feel the terror and fear coming through the bond.
"You won't, 'Hide," I said, my voice and emotions both full of my confidence in him. I knew he could feel it.
"When is your birthing date?" he asked.
"February 12th," I responded.
"February 12th," he repeated, seeming disbelieving.
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" I asked.
"Hm?"
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" I repeated.
"Oh. I don't know. Whatever Primus gives us, I suppose," he finally responded.
"It seems like...Primus favors us, doesn't it?" I said. He was silent for a moment.
"It would seem that way, wouldn't it?" he said.
"I'm scared, 'Hide," I told him.
"Me too, Ramona," he sighed. I knew that was hard for him to say.
"It'll be okay, 'Hide. It'll be okay," I whispered, and leaned my head against his.
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I'm an awful person when it comes to publishing. I sowwy.
