"I'll be back," he promised, "I'll come back. I swear. I swear to you that I'll always come back to you."
My sobs only grew louder-more painful. I was pressed into his chest, but already I missed him. How could I let him go, knowing that he may never come back? How could I let him go-him, the one love-of-my-life? My sun, my sky, my heart. How, how did they expect me to let him go? It wasn't fair. How could I let him go?
"Please, please, please don't leave!" I sobbed, "Please, 'Hide, I love you. Don't leave me! What if you don't come back?"
'I'll always come back to you, Ramona. Always, always. I could never leave you behind. Never, never,' he said, over the bond. It was a lie. It was a lie, and we both knew it. How could he lie to me when I could just read his mind-when I could see the kind of danger he was truly going into.
He'd had a close call last time. I'd seen it-every terrifying second. I'd lived it. No, he couldn't hide this from me. He couldn't even try.
"Please, please-just this once. Just stay home this once! I-I have a really, really bad feeling about this, 'Hide! Something bad is going to happen-please, don't-don't..." I lost control, again, and began sobbing frantically.
"I'm so sorry. I have to," I felt him tremble, and he pressed his face into my hair, "I don't want to leave you. I have to." He said, and he began shaking as he held me. He tightened his arms and hid his face. I felt his hot tears on the top of my head, and my heart wrenched further in my chest.
"Please, don't," I whispered. I knew it wouldn't work.
"I have to," he replied, "I'm sorry."
It took nearly a half-hour to subdue my tears-I couldn't stop myself. He would be gone indefinitely. If he ever came back at all. No one else wanted to come near me, let alone try and comfort me. What would they say? He would come back? The odds against him were grim at best. I was glad that Adelaide wasn't here. I didn't want her to see her parent's crying so. She would be terrified. Sarah was watching her for me.
How I envied Sarah. Will had been injured during the last mission, and was no longer required to fight the Decepticons. He did less dangerous work, locally. And for that, I envied Will. I envied Anna. None of them had to worry. Not even Adelaide had to worry. Her Daddy would be fine. She firmly believed that.
But what if he wasn't?
He kissed me once more, hard on the mouth, before turning and walking away. I reached out my hand toward him, but didn't make a sound. It was selfish of me to be doing this to him. It was so, so selfish. I knew how much he dreaded leaving. I was being so selfish. So I stayed quiet.
Then came the crash, and the squeal of metal being bent harshly against metal. I spun around, and there it was. A Decepticon. He was reckless, coming here. Everyone dodged out of his way, but I couldn't move. I couldn't move.
It was like slow motion. I watched the saw he weilded on his hand cut harshly across my torso. I didn't feel anything as I fell to my knees. I didn't hear anything as I fell onto my back, and I couldn't see anything but black. Then 'Hide came and told me to open my eyes. Through the bond, and out loud. He was begging, sobbing and yelling. My eyes opened slowly. Everything was blurry-I knew this was the end for me. His face was twisted with pain, and he was covered with blood. My blood.
"'Hide," I whispered, "Don't cry, my love." I could feel my own hot tears on my face though. His hot hand was pressed against my cheek, and I lifted one of my own bloody limbs to cover his. I looked briefly down at my torso, and saw blood everywhere. It was still bubbling up from the rip in my body, like a morbid fountain.
"No. No. Don't look at that. Don't," he said, and lifted my eyes back to his with a firm hand, "Look at me. Me, do you understand? Ratchet's gonna fix you, he'll-" his voice cut off with a choke, and his blue blood blossomed under his shirt. I reached up a hand and caressed his stubble-covered cheek. Tears came harder now.
I couldn't die. I couldn't. He couldn't. One of us had to stay for Addie.
"'Hide," I groaned, "'Hide, don't."
"R-Ramona," he said, "I lo-love you."
"No," I said, "No, 'Hide. One of us has to li-" I coughed, and bright blood splattered across his cheek. He smiled and put his hand over mine on his cheek.
"L-looks like you were right," he said, smiling, "Y-you're always right, a-aren't you?" My eyes were burning, now. But I couldn't tell the tears from the blood, anymore. Everything was numb.
"No, 'Hide. I love you, I love you," I choked out. I couldn't breathe. Each breath ripped me apart. 'Hide slumped forward a little bit.
"I love you, t-too, Ram-mona," his breaths were coming too quickly. The blue was gushing from his chest and mixing with my red in a purple puddle beneath the two of us.
"Is this i-it?" I asked, laughing as much as I could manage. I hadn't meant to.
"Looks like it," he responded, and his eyes lost a little bit of their light.
"F-fate is c-cruel," I forced, my voice quivering. I was fading-the light around me was growing dimmer, until all that was left was 'Hide. My eyes stayed on his, and the bond between us opened wider than it ever had before.
'Wrong or right,' he murmured.
'Black or white,' I responded, unthinkingly.
'If I close my eyes,' he said, and his eyes sunk closed in peace.
'It's all the same,' I said, and smiled sadly, 'Kiss me, one last time, 'Hide.' I requested. His lips met mine softly. A goodbye. A finale. It was done.
'I love you, Ramona,' he said, and tone was firm, but his voice quiet.
'I love you, too, Ironhide.'
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This chapter always seemed so insufficient to me. Maybe that's why I haven't published, even after all this time.
