All the lies // D.M.

6 - Rumors and Realities

Cathleen Avery

Sunday was a blur of soft blankets and darkness, punctuated by the occasional flicker of light through the window. I had decided to stay in bed all day, faking a headache because I couldn't face Draco or Holden today, not after everything I did yesterday. The thought of seeing either of them made my stomach twist in knots, so I opted for the sanctuary of my room. I had no idea what had gotten into me yesterday, daring — tempting Malfoy — in that way. Alcohol was now declared public enemy number one.

Valerie, poked her head in sometime in the afternoon, lecturing me about drinking in the first place but being glad I'm not curing the hangover away with and dealing with the consequences. She'll be a great mother one day. I just nodded, too tired to argue or to explain that my headache was an excuse. Not that it mattered. It felt easier to pretend that physical pain was what was keeping me in bed, rather than the mess in my head.

Theo stopped by later with food and stayed for a while, filling the silence with stories about the day. He mentioned his roommate—who somehow seemed to be in an even worse mood than usual—and a fight that broke out between some Gryffindor boys at lunch. I tried to laugh along with him, but it felt hollow like the sound was coming from someone else's throat. Still, I appreciated Theo being there, it was a distraction from the constant loop of thoughts I usually couldn't escape.

As Sunday dragged on, the weight of what tomorrow held started to press down on me — classes,  the stares, Draco, and Holden. All the faces I'd have to see, the smiles I'd have to fake, pretending like nothing was wrong — but everything was wrong and now I'd have to go through the motions—sit in my classes, make small talk, laugh at the right moments, all while this weight stayed with me.

Tomorrow was coming whether I was ready or not, and I wasn't sure how long I could keep pretending.

***

The entire morning, my mind was consumed by one particular blonde wizard. No matter how hard I tried to focus, the thoughts of Draco Malfoy refused to leave me alone.

In addition to my constant spiral of overthinking the rumours had spread faster than I expected, but really, I should have known better. Being late to dinner together? That was all it took to set the school on fire with gossip and how could I have been so stupid to forget about the closed doors? A rookie mistake—one I was now paying for with wild theories flying around.

After third period, Holden cornered me, questions burning in his eyes before he even opened his mouth His voice was tight, accusatory,  throwing questions at me about why I was late to dinner with the enemy and I told him the truth, how I just had ran into him and we went the same way but Holden didn't believe me. No matter what I said, he trusted the rumours over me and it stung, but at this point, I should've been used to it.

My second class of the day was Potions, and it dawned on me that now that I was descending step-by-step into the dungeons —I wouldn't be able to avoid the blonde devil anymore.

I don't know what's happening these past few days. We've had more conversations than in the entire six years we've known each other. He seemed to be everywhere, creeping into every corner of my mind, robbing me of sleep and concentration. It was insufferable and I could feel myself slowly unraveling. If this kept up, I'd be checking into St. Mungo's for a full mental break by the time autumn ended. For him, it was all a game and now he chose me as his new victim, choose to play with me, trying to see if I'd crack. But I wouldn't.

He won't get me down... ever.

I took one deep, steadying breath before walking into the Potions classroom. His grey eyes immediately landed on me doing a quick once over of my body, and immediately  goosebumps prickled my skin. It was just the drop in temperature...I told myself. The weather was getting colder, after all, and I was only wearing a skirt and a thin button-down. It was perfectly reasonable for my body to react to the temperature, not to him.