EAT GEOGRAPHY!

I almost got kidnapped....

What was I doing at this very moment you may ask?

I was sitting in geography bored out of my fucking mind. Yeah geography is important like learning how to read maps and NOT get lost, but I still don't understand how learning the number of mountains there are in Mexico is going to land me a job a Nando's. It's not really going to help me... IS IT?! Because of this boring educational class I will probably end up jobless and homeless! What if the bank I was at was being robbed? I mean it wouldn't be so heroic if I saved the day using the knowledge of how many mountains there are in MEXICO! What if I was again trying to land a job at Nando's it wouldn't exactly help would it? I mean who the hell ask these sorts of questions anyways? Unless some crazed geography obsessed person was the interviewer and it was the only way to score the job, I mean interview would sort of be along the lines of this.

CUE CRAZY IMAGINATION:
"Miss Ryder, so far you have the job." A man spoke as he straightened his world map shirt, and took a sip of his coffee. He hissed fanning his poor burnt tongue "but we have one more question if that's alright with you"
"Yeah sure, Fire away" I said straightening myself in the chair and re crossing my legs in a lady like manor to seem professional.
"how many mountains is there in Mexico?"
And I grantee you I wouldn't get the god damn job, since I was paying attention anyway.
END IMAGINATION.

I looked down at my stylish Pokémon watch as the old hag droned on and on, it was 3:01pm. Which would mean I have 9 minutes of hell, I mean school left... thankfully.
"Ms Jenkins " I yelled loudly in an annoyed tone " How in the world (geography PUN..) would this be useful in my future??" 
" well you see" the old bat started fixing her old glasses on her nose before I cut her off.
" like what would have happened if I was robbed?" I asked " and the guy was like ' give me all of your money or you die' shall I use me oh so great powers of geography an explain how many mountains there are in Mexico and pray they get knocked out by my knowledge?! " I said with sarcasm dripping from every one of my words
"Miss Sheeran-"
Whoa whoa whoa!
Hold the phone, pause your speech, shut that baby up.
I know what you're thinking
' how do I stop this spawn of Satan from crying?!?!'
Just kidding, I wouldn't know how to. But seriously I know what you're thinking
' why does your last name sound so darn familiar?'
That's because that guy who lyrics are always so deep and descriptive is my brother...
and here you thought 'Ryder' was my last name, no my pretty sure that's my first name...at least that's what my birth certificate said, but yeah since I'm eighteen and his twenty-four I'm pretty sure that makes him my older brother and also means he'll die first. Don't tell him I said that. any who I usually don't hang around him when his on tour and shit because apparently to our mother 'education is important' I mean I was really listening to that lecture I was too busy having an existential crisis of what happens after death, LIKE DO WE GO TO HEAVEN OR DOES EVERYTHING GO BLAK AND NOTHING EXISITS ANYMORE?! I really don't want to die, I have a fear of dying you know. It's called Thanatophobia. Yes, it's a thing. I checked. And no I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested. But I do have Oppositional defiant disorder or ODD for short, it basically means I have a bad temper and love to annoy people and/or lie... frequently.
Because of my ODD I'm Well known at they NYPD because of my frequent disobeying of laws and always trying to deliberately annoy people. It's not my fault, I love to cause trouble. It's fun. Usually I'm in jail because of my fabulous yet harmful pranks. Honestly, it's not my fault if they put a wardrobe in the middle of a mall and it looks like the one from Narnia.

Well let's get back to my suit life, no literally I live in a fancy hotel.
"Miss Sheeran geography will be useful when your older" miss cloud said plainly is this lady serious!
"Yes, miss cloud, when someone comes to rob the bank that I'm at I will use the power of geography and explain how many mountains there are in Mexico and pray that there get knocked out be knowledge and ill totally become a superhero and then my love life will die because I'm an idiot and I'll have to defeat a villain. GEOGRAPHY CANNOT SAVE ME FROM RESPONISBLILITES" I said sarcastically. she opened her mouth to protest but I was saved by the bell