floating

falling

release. the satisfaction of finally being gone; dead. not having to worry about the stresses of the world. all your failures, limited victories.

falling, the sight of concrete barely possible. bao was ready. all they saw was floors, windows rushing by. they didnt know if they should close their eyes or witness their death. it was so final, that moment they decided to fall from the roof. everything felt right. the rushing wind, the pounding in their ears. the want to scream but holding it in; they didnt want to be a nuisance, waking up the sleeping citizens.

bao awoke that morning already knowing what they wanted to do. well, not the morning, more like 6 p.m. they took a shower, let their hair dry as they did their makeup, preparing to die pretty. bao knew once their body hit the ground, they would be pieces, but they wanted to see themself handsome one last time.

at exactly 1:17 am, bao stepped off the roof of their apartment building. it was tall, they knew it would be a long fall, but it would be exhilarating, calming. bao would finally be gone.

but instead, when they would finally get sweet release, they found themselves flying sideways, held in strong arms, all they heard was rushing air and the flap of wings. all they saw was bright red, slight tan, the side of a building, then darkness as they closed their eyes. confusion rushed through them, what the hell was happening? this wasnt supposed to be how it goes. by now their head should be meeting sidewalk, not a mans chest as he held them close.

suddenly, everything stopped. the rushing wind, the flapping, the tight hold of the man. bao didn't open their eyes, they knew they weren't dead and they were confused and pissed. they felt themselves being lowered, then meeting the concrete of the roof; they were back where they started. on the roof of the complex, just not alone this time.

the man lightly shook bao, most likely checking to see if they were awake.

"hey, kid, you alive in there?"

bao sat for a second, opening their eyes to meet the gaze of a young man. he slightly stumbled back, not expecting to see rage.

"what the fuck?!!" bao yelled, pissed at this man they didn't know.

"woah woah calm down, why are you so upset?" he shook his hands in front of him, gaze wavering in confusion. he just saved their life, why are they mad at him?

"why did you catch me?!!" bao stood up, stumbling slightly. fun fact: its a bit difficult to regain balance after falling 15 floors.

"hey hey, i see a pretty woman falling, i catch. it's what i do," he shrugged, immediately noticing a shift in bao's attitude. their head tilted down slightly, fists clenching at their sides.

"im not a woman, bird boy," bao states, acknowledging the mans bright wings behind him.

"okay, note taken. anyways, why the fuck were you falling."

"maybe i wanted to fall. ever think of that?"

the man is taken aback a bit; no, he didnt think of that.

"so you're the reason you were falling?"

"yeah! its not hard to put the peices together!"

"hey calm down i just saved you-"

"maybe i didnt want to be saved!!" bao looked up completely, making dead eye contact with the confused man. he knew what bao meant, anyone would. he, he didn't know why he was confused. that made him more confused.

"you ruined it!! i was finally gonna be gone and you fucking ruined it!!" bao stumbled, pointing at the man with hot tears streaming down their cheeks.

"hey hey, its not all bad!" he didn't really know what to say, all he knew was there was a crying person in front of him and he needed to calm them down.

"how?!! how is it not all bad?!! everything was finally going to be right and you fucked it up!!" bao stumbled, nearly falling while screaming at the man. he stepped forward, grabbing bao's arm in a strong grasp and pulling them into his chest, his other hand meeting bao's hair. this was difficult, as bao was taller than him, but he made it work.

bao was conflicted. should they scream at the man who ruined their end, or find comfort in his actions currently.

they settled on the latter, too exhausted to care. they fell to their knees, wrapping their arms around the man's waist as they gasped for breath through heavy tears and sniffles. the man ran his hand through bao's hair, other hand rubbing their back softly to calm them down, humming slightly. he knew nothing to say to genuinly help the situation, and he didn't want to joke around until he was sure the person in front of him wasn't seconds away from throwing themselves back off the building. he was too exhausted to fly more than necessary right now.