six months (w)

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ITS BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE
THINGS ENDED

and even though the pain should be subsided by now,it grows stronger every day.it's hard to get someone out of your head when you're co-workers,when you're "friends"

you had managed to try and move on navigating through your pain by reaching out to other streamers and content creators,trying to work on projects and meet new people,and to flirt with them.sometimes it'll foray into a small inconsequential relationship-if you'd even call them that since they are more like a series of distractions from the one that got away.

which lads you to know,your chest is hurting and your eyes are stinging with unshed tears,only acting as a reminder that the person currently sleeping in your bed isn't him.you glance over at the person who's name you can't seem to recall currently-but a quick glance in the darkness they almost-just almost looks just like him.you can see the sleeping persons curls and choke on your tears.you think that maybe if you squinted you could just pretend it's weston.

you pick up your phone-fingers itching to dial his number or send a text but you refrain.in the months that have passed you continually ask yourself where the hell it all went wrong.you'd remain in touch, frequently messaging for help with a project or just to congratulate each other on some milestone that never mattered.when you were with him no thousand-more mile mark was more important than an anniversary

when you glance back to the other side of the bed and can almost feel him there with you.however try as you might,no one else will ever be him.no one will ever be the weston that you fell in love with,but if you leave your eyes closed you can easily pretend for a moment that the one in your bed was.knowing this made you fight the urge to kick what's-his-face out of your bed because you know it's wrong to keep lying but maybe the fake intimacy was just what you needed.

struggling with the overwhelming emotions of the night you make what you decide is probably a very bad decision.

unlocking your phone you open your contacts, scroll down to the W's and select his name "william w. koury" how petty you were to change the contact to his legal name was something you spite even yourself even for.you click on the messaging icon and type out the simple message of

"i love you billy"

being sure to add the dumbass nickname he pretended to hate because "no one even calls him by his first name anymore"

when you hit send you barely moved when the recognizable ping of your text notifications goes off. your shaky hands tell you not to look,tell you that it'll just be disappointing-but you do,and what you knocks out the wind out of you so hard you're sure the sleeping body next to you can hear you choke.

"i love you (y/n)"

you sadly smile to yourself and go to type a reply for redemption but before you can hit send your phone is ringing- a call from william w. koury

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